Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people believe that the best way to stay fit to join a gym or health club while others think doing everyday activities such as walking and climbing stairs is enough. Discuss both views and give your opinion v.1

Some people believe that the best way to stay fit to join a gym or health club while others think doing everyday activities such as walking and climbing stairs is enough. 1
It indeed became necessary to be fit by doing regular exercises. While some think that to be fit a person should join a gym, I, however, agree with those who believe that doing walking or climbing stairs is quite enough to become fit. On the one hand, it could be argued that getting the gym membership any person could be fit and fine. It is often said that many adults just join the health club because they think that without expending a penny no one could do exercise on a regular basis. For example, in India, 65% of the young population often joins the gym in order to go regularly to get the body in shape and remain fit always. Moreover, it is believed that actors or sportsmen would be able to pay a hefty membership to remain fit always, as it is essential for their professional career. If such persons don't fit enough always, their career gets finished soon. On the other hand, I would argue that to remain fit always the best way is to do walking regularly or climbing stairs. This is because no one has to pay a single penny for such activities and any person can do it as per their preferred time whether in the morning or evening. Research has been conducted in Japan and found that most Japanese does daily morning walk for half an hour, resulting in free from obesity and harmful diseases. Furthermore, in my opinion, if such exercises are done regularly, a person can see the difference in a few months and their digestive system improves a lot. Therefore, a person should do such exercises to remain healthy always without expensing anything. In conclusion, although the general gym can be joined after paying for the membership to do exercise regularly and necessary for models to remain in the career, making walking or cycling regularly to keep it fit without any expenses. Therefore, on balance, I believe that the best way is for any person is to do climbing stairs, cycling and walking always.
It
indeed
became necessary to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fit
by doing regular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercises
. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fit
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gym
, I,
however
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with those who believe that
The usual collocation for an activity ending in "-ing" is "go" not "do" or "play." Revise: "going walking".
doing walking
or climbing stairs is quite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to become fit.

On the one hand, it could
be argued
that getting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gym
membership any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
could be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fit
and fine. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
said that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
adults
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
the health club
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that without expending a penny no one could do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
on a regular basis.
For example
, in India, 65% of the young population
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
joins
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gym
in order to go
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
regularly
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the body in shape and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
remain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fit
always.
Moreover
, it
is believed
that actors or sportsmen would be able to pay a hefty membership to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
remain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fit
always, as it is essential for their professional career. If such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
persons
don't
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fit
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
always, their career
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
finished
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
.

On the other hand
, I would argue that to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
remain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fit
always the best way is to
The usual collocation for an activity ending in "-ing" is "go" not "do" or "play." Revise: "go walking".
do walking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
regularly
or climbing stairs. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
no one
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
pay a single penny for such activities and any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
can do it as per their preferred time whether in the morning or evening. Research has
been conducted
in Japan and found that most Japanese does daily morning walk for half an hour, resulting in free from obesity and harmful diseases.
Furthermore
, in my opinion, if such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercises
are done
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
regularly
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the difference in a few months and their digestive system
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
a lot.
Therefore
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
should do such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercises
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
remain
healthy always without expensing anything.

In conclusion
, although the general
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gym
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
joined
after paying for the membership to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
regularly
and necessary for models to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
remain
in the career, making walking or cycling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
regularly
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fit
without any expenses.
Therefore
, on balance, I believe that the best way is for any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
is to do climbing stairs, cycling and walking always.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
Learn a new language and get a new soul.
Czech Proverb

IELTS essay Some people believe that the best way to stay fit to join a gym or health club while others think doing everyday activities such as walking and climbing stairs is enough. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
343 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts