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Some people believe that, the best way to reduce crimes is to give longer prison sentences to those who commit crimes or any similar actions, while others believe that there are other ways that can be used in order to reduce this issue. v.1

Some people believe that, the best way to reduce crimes is to give longer prison sentences to those who commit crimes or any similar actions, while others believe that there are other ways that can be used in order to reduce this issue. v. 1
Some people believe that, the best way to reduce crimes is to give longer prison sentences to those who commit crimes or any similar actions, while others believe that there are other ways that can be used in order to reduce this issue. This essay will discuss both view and it will give my personal opinions. On the one hand, some people believe that, if it was given a life sentence to all criminals, there would be less crime on streets because a potential criminal would consider the risk to be in jail for the rest of his life before commit a crime. I partially agree with this statement as people become criminals due to lack of education, poverty and mental disturbs, no matter of what the consequences they will have after being taken by the police are. However, I believe that, a life sentence is essential for those who commit a crime because, it is not given any chance to repeat such actions in the future. On the other hand, some people believe that the development of social welfare system is the key to prevent crimes as poverty leads to crime. Firstly, they believe what governments should help poor people giving them an economic subsidy. Secondly, people believe that most of criminals have always had a mental disturbs and if a society had had the chance to cure them in the past, they would not have committed such crimes in the future. I agree with both statement as many people turn to crime due to poverty and mental disorders. In conclusion, I believe that, prevention is better than cure and it is the responsibility of governments to discourage criminal actions helping and educating their citizens since their young age. Nevertheless, for those who have already committed a crime it is essential to do not give them any chance to be released.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that, the best way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
is to give longer prison sentences to those who commit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
or any similar actions, while others
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that there are other ways that can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
this issue. This essay will discuss both view and it will give my personal opinions.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that, if it was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
a life sentence to all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
, there would be less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
on streets
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
a potential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
would consider the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
to be in jail for the rest of his life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
commit a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
. I
partially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
become
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
due to lack of education, poverty and mental disturbs, no matter of what the consequences they will have after
being taken
by the police are.
However
, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that, a life sentence is essential for those who commit a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, it is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
any chance to repeat such actions in the future.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that the development of social welfare system is the key to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
as poverty leads to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
.
Firstly
, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
what
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
giving them an economic subsidy.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that most of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
have always had
Probably a noun is missing in this part of the sentence.
a mental
disturbs and if a society had had the chance to cure them in the past, they would not have committed such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
in the future. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with both statement as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
turn to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
due to poverty and mental disorders.

In conclusion
, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that, prevention is better than cure and it is the responsibility of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
to discourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
actions helping and educating their citizens since their young age.
Nevertheless
, for those who have already committed a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
it is essential to do not give them any chance to
be released
.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
30Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that, the best way to reduce crimes is to give longer prison sentences to those who commit crimes or any similar actions, while others believe that there are other ways that can be used in order to reduce this issue. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
312 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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