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Some people believe that in order to reduce crimes, prisoners should be given longer prison sentences while some people think there are other alternative ways. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.1

Some people believe that in order to reduce crimes, prisoners should be given longer prison sentences while some people think there are other alternative ways. v. 1
It’s undeniable that crime of all forms causes innumerable problems to the society, therefore solutions need to be found to tackle it soon. While some people argue that imprisoning criminals for a longer time may effectively lower the crime rate, I believe other feasible solutions are able to deter criminals as well. On the one hand, some people support the view that the incidence of crime can be reduced significantly by forcing offenders to serve a longer prison sentence. This is because the fear of harsher punishment stops people from committing a crime. In the past, some people became involved with crimes as they thought that the sentence was not severe enough. If the offenders were sentenced to a longer prison, potential criminals would probably have given up when they take the higher crime cost into consideration. On the other hand, there are some reasonable and effective measures the government could take to deter crimes. To begin with, the government could implement more preventive measures including increasing the number of police offices on patrol and installing more video cameras in public spaces to curb crime, thus achieving a more peaceful community. Besides, rehabilitation is also of significant help to reduce the possibility of repeated crime. Criminals that have received education or vocational training are prepared for a paid job, from which they get income and self-recognition, to prevent them from re-offending. While longer prison sentence results in lower crime rate, in my opinion, preventive and rehabilitative measures also play an essential part in curbing crimes.
It’s undeniable that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
of all forms causes innumerable problems to the society,
therefore
solutions need to
be found
to tackle it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that imprisoning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
longer
time may
effectively
lower the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rate, I believe other feasible solutions are able to deter
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
as well
.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
support the view that the incidence of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
significantly
by forcing offenders to serve a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
longer
prison sentence. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the fear of harsher punishment
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stops
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from committing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
. In the past,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
became involved with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
as they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that the sentence was not severe
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
. If the offenders
were sentenced
to a
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longer
prison, potential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
would
probably
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
up when they take the higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
cost into consideration.

On the other hand
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasonable and effective measures the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
could take to deter
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
could implement more preventive measures including increasing the number of police offices on patrol and installing more video cameras in public spaces to curb
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
,
thus
achieving a more peaceful community.
Besides
, rehabilitation is
also
of significant
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the possibility of repeated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Criminals
that have received education or vocational training
are prepared
for a paid job, from which they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
income and self-recognition, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
them from re-offending.

While
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
longer
prison sentence results in lower
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rate, in my opinion, preventive and rehabilitative measures
also
play an essential part in curbing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
23Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that in order to reduce crimes, prisoners should be given longer prison sentences while some people think there are other alternative ways. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
255 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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