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The New essay Many of the products we buy nowadays break or wear out very quickly What are the advantages and disadvantages of this for manufacturers and the public v.1

The New essay Many of the products we buy nowadays break or wear out very quickly What are the advantages and disadvantages of this for manufacturers and the public v. 1
At present, the products are being bought by the people, it cannot be used for a longer period, due to the quality, durability and the type of usages. This trend may bring some positive effect, but the drawbacks of this practice’s can not be ignored. On the one hand, the great advantage of this process is making the product affordable to all levels of people. For instance, the manufacturer uses cheap raw materials to reduce the cost. Due to its low cost production, the prices are quite cheap in the market. Furthermore, To reduce expenses this practice helps a bit. For instance, one time product. The user may buy one time product based on their needs instead of buying bulk amounts such as shaving razor. However, it brings some drawbacks for the users as well. As these products are less durable, they need to spend plenty of money to buy the product again and again, which hampering the financial status. On the other hand, the bright sides it offers to the manufacturer is helping to generate high sales volume. As users are not able to use these products for a very long time, they need to buy repetitively. Hence the demand of the products has been always high and this allows manufacturer to produce more products for selling. Therefore, more selling bring a high return on the investment. By contrast, the declining of reputation is a major negative side of this trend. For instance, after buying products, if the user cannot use it properly, the next time they will avoid that manufacturer. As a result, this not only downsizing the reputation, but also forcing customers to select another manufacturer. To conclude, the low cost of the product benefits both users and manufacturer. User can get the product at an affordable price and manufacturer can get better profit. However, it also impact the economy of an individual and the reputation of a manufacturer.
At present, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
are being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, it cannot be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for a longer period, due to the quality, durability and the type of usages. This trend may bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effect,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the drawbacks of this practice’s can not be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
.

On the one hand, the great advantage of this process is making the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
affordable to all levels of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
For instance
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
manufacturer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
raw materials to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the cost. Due to its low cost production, the prices are quite
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
in the market.
Furthermore
, To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
expenses this practice
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
a bit.
For instance
, one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
user
may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
based on their needs
instead
of buying bulk amounts such as shaving razor.
However
, it brings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
users
as well
. As these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
are less durable, they need to spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of money to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
again and again, which hampering the financial status.

On the other hand
, the bright sides it offers to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
manufacturer
is helping to generate high sales volume. As
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
users
are not able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
for a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, they need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
repetitively
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Hence
the demand of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
has been always high and this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
manufacturer
to produce more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
for selling.
Therefore
, more selling bring a high return on the investment. By contrast, the declining of reputation is a major
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
side of this trend.
For instance
, after buying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
user
cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it
properly
, the
next
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
they will avoid that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
manufacturer
.
As a result
, this not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
downsizing the reputation,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
forcing customers to select another manufacturer.

To conclude
, the low cost of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
benefits both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
users
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
manufacturer
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
User
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
at an affordable price and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
manufacturer
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
better profit.
However
, it
also
Did you mean "impacts"?
impact
the economy of an individual and the reputation of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
manufacturer
.
19Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
29Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay The New essay Many of the products we buy nowadays break or wear out very quickly What are the advantages and disadvantages of this for manufacturers and the public v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
322 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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