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Some people believe that the best way to increase road safety is to increase the minimum legal age for driving cars. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.2

Some people believe that the best way to increase road safety is to increase the minimum legal age for driving cars. v. 2
Some individuals believe that increasing the minimum legal age for driving cars or motor bikes is the best way to increase road safety. While I admit that this policy can be beneficial to some extent, in my opinion, there are better ways to reduce traffic accidents. It might be a good idea to increase the minimum age requirement for driving for some reasons. Firstly, younger people are less mature and less responsible. They might not be aware of the importance of following traffic rules. Therefore, it makes sense to ban them from driving to prevent them from breaking the law and causing accidents. Secondly, as older people are more experienced, they know how to react quickly to dangerous situations on the road. To illustrate, if the brakes of a car suddenly stop working, a young driver might panic and accidents could occur. An experienced driver will be able to handle the situation with more maturity. However, I would argue that there are much better ways to ensure road safety. The first one is to improve the quality of our roads. Accidents are less likely to occur on wider, bump-free roads. It is also important to have stricter punishments for careless drivers. For example, people who break traffic rules should be required to pay huge fines or be banned permanently from getting behind the wheel. Strict laws will encourage drivers to respect the law and traffic accidents will reduce. Another solution is to encourage people to use public transport rather than private vehicles. This can be done by reducing the fares and increasing the frequency of buses and tubes to make it convenient for the users. In conclusion, I believe that increasing the legal age for driving is not the best solution for improving road safety. It might help, but we need to take other measures too. For example, building better roads and improving the efficiency of public transport will deliver better results.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
individuals believe that increasing the minimum legal age for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
cars or motor bikes is the best way to increase
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
safety. While I admit that this policy can be beneficial to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent, in my opinion, there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
ways to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
accidents.

It
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
to increase the minimum age requirement for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons.
Firstly
, younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are less mature and less responsible. They
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
not be aware of the importance of following
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
.
Therefore
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
sense to ban them from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
them from breaking the law and causing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
.
Secondly
, as older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are more experienced, they know how to react
quickly
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
situations on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
. To illustrate, if the brakes of a car
suddenly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
working, a young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driver
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
panic and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
could occur. An experienced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driver
will be able to handle the situation with more maturity.

However
, I would argue that there are much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
ways to ensure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
safety. The
first
one is to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the quality of our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Accidents
are less likely to occur on wider, bump-free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
. It is
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to have stricter punishments for careless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drivers
.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who break
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
should
be required
to pay huge fines or
be banned
permanently
from getting behind the wheel. Strict laws will encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drivers
to respect the law and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
. Another solution is to encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
public transport
rather
than private vehicles. This can
be done
by reducing the fares and increasing the frequency of buses and tubes to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it convenient for the users.

In conclusion
, I believe that increasing the legal age for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
is not the best solution for improving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
safety. It
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
we need to take other measures too.
For example
, building
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
and improving the efficiency of public transport will deliver
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
results.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
35Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that the best way to increase road safety is to increase the minimum legal age for driving cars. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
322 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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