Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people believe that the best way of improving public health is by increasing sport facilities. Others believe this will have little effect and than other measures. Discuss both views and give your opinion v.1

Some people believe that the best way of improving public health is by increasing sport facilities. Others believe this will have little effect and than other measures. 1
Ways of improving the general wellbeing of the entire populace has been a subject of discussion in recent years. While a sect of people is of the opinion that a significant addition to the existing number of sport facilities represents the best way of improving physical conditions of the public, others opine that having a large number of such facilities would not have the desired effect. This essay will discuss both views and explain why other measures such as reducing pollution in the environment and routine vaccinations against spreadable diseases are better options that can be utilized to achieve this aim. On the one hand, sports and sporting activities present a perfect escape route and a means for de-stressing. As people engage in sports like running, cycling, they are able to build up their body muscles, blow off steam, and also get adequate blood flowing within their body system properly. In addition, watching sports as a form of entertainment also helps to relax the entire system thereby improving both mental and physical wellbeing of the people. Therefore, increasing the number of sport facilities would not only present an avenue for more people to both partake in sport activities and enjoy the view as a spectator, but also help them relax and forget about their current stress. However, measures such as significant reduction of air pollution can have greater effects on increasing the overall fitness of the populace. A lot of pollution related health problems have been reported in several developing countries. Finding a solution to this pertinent problem would greatly aid both physical and mental conditions of the public. To add to this, routine vaccinations against spreadable diseases would also ensure that more people are in better shape Healthwise. For example, frequent immunizations for the flu disease would significantly boost the immune system. In conclusion, this essay discussed the use of increased sports facilities as a tool for improving the public wellbeing as well as other measures such as pollution reduction and vaccinations. In my opinion, while sports activities can help to improve our general outlook, utilizing other measures as discussed in the essay presents a far better option and would generate greater and optimum results.
Ways of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improving
the general
Possible spelling mistake found.
wellbeing
of the entire populace has been a subject of discussion in recent years. While a sect of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
is of the opinion that a significant addition to the existing number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
facilities represents the best way of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improving
physical conditions of the public, others opine that having
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
such facilities would not have the desired effect. This essay will discuss both views and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
measures
such as reducing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
in the environment and routine vaccinations against spreadable diseases are better options that can
be utilized
to achieve this aim.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
and sporting activities present a perfect escape route and a means for de-stressing. As
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
engage in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
like running, cycling, they are able to build up their body muscles, blow off steam, and
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
adequate blood flowing within their body system
properly
.
In addition
, watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
as a form of entertainment
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to relax the entire system thereby
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improving
both mental and physical
Possible spelling mistake found.
wellbeing
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Therefore
, increasing the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
facilities would not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
present an avenue for more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to both partake in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
activities and enjoy the view as a spectator,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them relax and forget about their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
.

However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
measures
such as significant reduction of air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
can have greater effects on increasing the
overall
fitness of the populace.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
A lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
related health problems have
been reported
in several
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing countries
. Finding a solution to this pertinent problem would
greatly
aid both physical and mental conditions of the public. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
to this, routine vaccinations against spreadable diseases would
also
ensure that more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are in better shape
Possible spelling mistake found.
Healthwise
.
For example
, frequent immunizations for the flu disease would
significantly
boost the immune system.

In conclusion
, this essay discussed the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of increased
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
facilities as a tool for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improving
the public
Possible spelling mistake found.
wellbeing
as well
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
measures
such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
reduction and vaccinations. In my opinion, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
activities can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
our general outlook, utilizing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
measures
as discussed in the essay presents a far better option and would generate greater and optimum results.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
28Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that the best way of improving public health is by increasing sport facilities. Others believe this will have little effect and than other measures. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
366 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts