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Some people believe that teenagers should concentrate on all school subjects/ But others believe that teenagers should focus on the subjects that they are good at or that they find the most interest. Discuss both sides and give your opinion. v.1

Some people believe that teenagers should concentrate on all school subjects/ But others believe that teenagers should focus on the subjects that they are good at or that they find the most interest. v. 1
Nowadays education plays a significant role in bringing children up. One part of people supposes that teenagers should learn hard all subjects in school in order to be more successful in the future, whereas it is argued by other people, who assume that pupils should concentrate just on the subjects, which they are keen on or can get high marks. Both opinions have common sense and this essay will discuss it. On the one hand, all people are different in their abilities, and while some people are good at some subjects, other people are good at other ones. Also, the most of teenagers prefers learning just such subjects, which they enjoy. However, if they do not study other ones, they will not be able to know more and get some knowledge for graduating. Moreover, it has been proved by different researchers, that all people have different opportunities to study particular subjects, but also they have shown us that all teenagers can be good at all subjects, if they make more efforts in it. On the other hand, why the teenagers have to learn such subjects, which are just wasting time for them? It is true, that the majority of subjects will not be used in the future. Therefore, perhaps it is a better way to teach children. For instance, I have the friend, who was good at mathematic and physic, but he has never been interested in Literature and Languages. Naturally, he did not learn such boring subjects properly, and, as a consequence, he makes a lot of mistakes in his letters. However, he managed to be successful in mathematical sphere and he is able to calculate the difficult mathematical tasks in his mind immediately. In conclusion, in my opinion, all teenagers are supposed to learn all common subjects at school to have more opportunities in their life, but they should pay more attention and try to develop skills in the favourite subjects themselves, especially if they want to do something relying on it in the future.
Nowadays education plays a significant role in bringing children up. One part of
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people
supposes that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
in school in order to be more successful in the future, whereas it
is argued
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, who assume that pupils should concentrate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
, which they are keen on or can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
high marks. Both opinions have common sense and this essay will discuss it.

On the one hand, all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
in their abilities, and while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
.
Also
, the most of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
prefers learning
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
, which they enjoy.
However
, if they do not study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
, they will not be able to know more and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
knowledge for graduating.
Moreover
, it has
been proved
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
researchers, that all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
opportunities to study particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
they have shown us that all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
can be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
at all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
, if they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
more efforts in it.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, why the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
, which are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
wasting time for them? It is true, that the majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
will not be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in the future.
Therefore
, perhaps it is a better way to teach children.
For instance
, I have the friend, who was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
at mathematic and physic,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
he has never
been interested
in Literature and Languages.
Naturally
, he did not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
such boring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
properly
, and, as a consequence, he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
mistakes in his letters.
However
, he managed to be successful in mathematical
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
sphere and
he is able to calculate the difficult mathematical tasks in his mind immediately.

In conclusion
, in my opinion, all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
are supposed
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
all common
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
at school to have more opportunities in their life,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they should pay more attention and try to develop
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
in the
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
themselves,
especially
if they want to do something relying on it in the future.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
Knowledge of languages is the doorway to wisdom.
Roger Bacon

IELTS essay Some people believe that teenagers should concentrate on all school subjects/ But others believe that teenagers should focus on the subjects that they are good at or that they find the most interest. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
337 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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