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Some people believe that teenagers should concentrate on all school subjects. But others believe that teenagers should focus on the subject that they are good at or that they find the most interest. Discuss both sides and give your opinion v.1

Some people believe that teenagers should concentrate on all school subjects. But others believe that teenagers should focus on the subject that they are good at or that they find the most interest. 1
It seems to be an endless debate whether adolescents should pay attention to all school subjects or they should invest time and effort in the subjects of their likings. In this essay, both views will be discussed followed by the author’s opinion. On the one hand, selective studying does benefit students in some ways but can put students at a certain disadvantage. When a student gives full attention to one or two subjects of their choice, the learner can get high proficiency in their fields. With an in-depth, detailed and academic understanding of their chosen field, it is likely that they will have more job opportunities in the future. Besides, students are believed to be more motivated and inspired when they study the subjects they like. They will be less stressed but find their learning more enjoyable. However, there’s still one drawback of this learning style is that they will have troubles with the school tests. Since they only want to focus on their favorite subjects, they will not be able to study other subjects, which will worsen their overall results at school or they can even fail exams. On the other hand, although some argue that learning all subjects may exhaust students, high school curriculum is tailored to teach all the subjects that are considered to be of importance such as mathematics, science, English, history, and geography. These act as a foundation for future career applications. Not only are they designed to provide knowledge, but also allow the students to select the subjects that they might wish to take up for higher studies and career opportunities. Moreover, teenagers are not capable enough to make the best decision pertaining to one particular subject that they would want to study in the foreseeable future. After discussing the both sides, I believe that investing equal time and effort in all the fields and subjects at school enables teenagers to develop to the full and widens their range of interest. They will be able to figure out a particular stream or subject at a later stage in life, preferably during higher studies.
It seems to be an endless debate whether adolescents should pay attention to all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
Use a comma before 'or' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
subjects or
they should invest time and effort in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
of their
Possible spelling mistake found.
likings
. In this essay, both views will
be discussed
followed by the author’s opinion.

On the one hand, selective studying does benefit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
ways
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
can put
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
at a certain disadvantage. When a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
gives full attention to one or two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
of their choice, the learner can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
high proficiency in their fields. With an in-depth, detailed and academic understanding of their chosen field, it is likely that they will have more job opportunities in the future.
Besides
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are believed
to be more motivated and inspired when they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
they like. They will be less
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stressed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
find their learning more enjoyable.
However
, there’s
still
one drawback of this learning style is that they will have troubles with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tests
. Since they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
want to focus on their favorite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
, they will not be able to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
, which will worsen their
overall
results at
Use a comma before 'or' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
school or
they can even fail exams.

On the other hand
, although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
argue that learning all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
may exhaust
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
curriculum
is tailored
to teach all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
that
are considered
to be of importance such as mathematics, science, English, history, and geography. These act as a foundation for future career applications. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
are they designed to provide knowledge,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to select the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
that they might wish to take up for higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
and career opportunities.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
are not capable
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the best decision pertaining to one particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
that they would want to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
in the foreseeable future.

After discussing the both sides, I believe that investing equal time and effort in all the fields and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
enables
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
to develop to the full and widens their range of interest. They will be able to figure out a particular stream or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
at a later stage in life,
preferably
during higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
28Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
Language is to the mind more than light is to the eye.
William Gibson

IELTS essay Some people believe that teenagers should concentrate on all school subjects. But others believe that teenagers should focus on the subject that they are good at or that they find the most interest. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
349 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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