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Traffic and housing problems could be solved by moving large companies, factories and their employees to the countryside. Do you agree or disagree? v.7

Traffic and housing problems could be solved by moving large companies, factories and their employees to the countryside. v. 7
There is currently a contentious argument over whether the traffic and housing issues could be mitigated by changing the location of huge companies, factories and their employees from big cities to the rural areas. In my opinion, I totally agree with this opinion because there would be less number of vehicles on the street and there are more areas for housing construction. To begin with, the main reason why I believe that moving companies, factories and their workers to the rural sites could reduce traffic congestions in large cities is because the number of private vehicles on the street would be significantly decreased. In other words, when a substantial number of people move to the countryside, there would be less number of people transporting on the street. As a result, traffic problems would rarely happen. Another reason why I support the notion that moving companies, manufactures, and their employees to the countryside could help tackle the housing issues is due to the fact that there are more land sites to build houses for urban citizens. It is also possible to say that people in enormous cities will have enough places to settle down when there are more spaces to erect houses. In conclusion, I completely believe that moving companies, manufactures, and their workers to rural locations would resolve the traffic and housing matters in cities because not only the number of vehicles on urban streets would be significantly plummeted, but also there would be more space to build more houses for urban dwellers. Given this situation, It seems that the government should take some steps to encourage people to move and live in rural locations such as reducing taxes for rural people or subsidising them.
There is
currently
a contentious argument over whether the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
and housing issues could
be mitigated
by changing the location of huge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
, factories and their employees from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
areas. In my opinion, I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this opinion
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there would be less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of vehicles on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
street
and there are more areas for housing construction.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the main reason why I believe that moving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
, factories and their workers to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
sites could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
congestions in large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of private vehicles on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
street
would be
significantly
decreased.
In other words
, when a substantial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to the countryside, there would be less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
transporting on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
street
.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
problems would rarely happen.

Another reason why I support the notion that moving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
, manufactures, and their employees to the countryside could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
tackle the housing issues is due to the fact that there are more land sites to build
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
for urban citizens. It is
also
possible to say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in enormous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
will have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
places to settle down when there are more spaces to erect
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
.

In conclusion
, I completely believe that moving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
, manufactures, and their workers to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
locations would resolve the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
and housing matters in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of vehicles on urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
streets
would be
significantly
plummeted,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
there would be more space to build more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
for urban dwellers.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Given
this situation, It seems that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
steps to encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
locations such as reducing taxes for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
or
Possible spelling mistake. 'subsidising' is British English.
subsidising
them.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
31Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
Learning another language is not only learning different words for the same things, but learning another way to think about things.
Flora Lewis

IELTS essay Traffic and housing problems could be solved by moving large companies, factories and their employees to the countryside. v. 7

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
285 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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