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People doing dangerous sports activities like scuba diving and bungie jumping, they should be responsible for their own life and rescue workers should not risk their lives to save people. Do you agree or disagree? v.1

People doing dangerous sports activities like scuba diving and bungie jumping, they should be responsible for their own life and rescue workers should not risk their lives to save people. v. 1
It is no doubt that athletic activities is a very important part of human lifestyle and poeple often want to push beyond limits by partaking in the risky ones, not seriously considering the negative results that might follow nevertheless I do not agree to rescue teams not playing their role and the victims of such endangering sports being left to their fate. First and foremost, it is in the place of the rescue team to protect the lives of these people as this is what they signed up, whether or not they find themselves in deadly situations while they sensitized them on the danger zones and probably examine each person to fit the requirements of such daring sports. For instance, my grand aunt who is the most daring person I know, went scuba-diving even though she was asthmatic and ignored doctor's orders, the beach recovery team still saved her, when she hit a might wave beyond her control. Additionally, people are bound to want break boundaries for probably sole satisfaction or to boost self esteem through games, while others wallow in boredom and fear of the unknown. It is important that they take full responsibility for what comes to them in the daring course but those in charge of saving the helpless where need be should do their jobs, no matter what. Another example would be when a little boy, out of excitement went into the adult swimming pool in my neighbourhood and the watch guard deliberately did nothing to save him because he had warned not go there, the guard was apprehended and put in jail for not doing his job which he swore an oath to. In summary, while we break limits in sports and try new things on the other side of fear, we should remain cautious while safety guards must endeavour to always do their jobs under all circumstances.
It is no doubt that athletic activities is a
very
important
part of human lifestyle and
poeple
often
want to push beyond limits by partaking in the risky ones, not
seriously
considering the
negative
results that might follow
nevertheless
I do not
agree
to rescue teams not playing their role and the victims of such endangering sports being
left
to their fate.

First
and foremost, it is in the place of the rescue team to protect the
lives
of these
people
as this is what they signed up,
whether or not
they find themselves in deadly situations while they sensitized them on the
danger
zones and
probably
examine each person to fit the requirements of such daring sports.
For instance
, my grand aunt who is the most daring person I know, went scuba-diving
even though
she was asthmatic and
ignored
doctor's orders, the beach recovery team
still
saved her, when she hit a might wave beyond her control.

Additionally
,
people
are bound
to want break boundaries for
probably
sole satisfaction or to boost
self esteem
through games, while others wallow in boredom and fear of the unknown. It is
important
that they take full responsibility for what
comes
to them in the daring course
but
those in charge of saving the helpless where need be should do their jobs, no matter what. Another example would be when a
little
boy, out of excitement went into the adult swimming pool in my
neighbourhood
and the
watch
guard
deliberately
did nothing to save him
because
he had warned not go there, the guard
was apprehended
and put in jail for not doing his job which he swore an oath to.

In summary, while we break limits in sports and try new things on the other side of fear, we should remain cautious while safety guards
must
endeavour
to always do their jobs under all circumstances.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
Language is the blood of the soul into which thoughts run and out of which they grow.
Oliver Wendell Holmes

IELTS essay People doing dangerous sports activities like scuba diving and bungie jumping, they should be responsible for their own life and rescue workers should not risk their lives to save people. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
313 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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