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Some people believe that technology has made man more social. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? v.6

Some people believe that technology has made man more social. with this opinion? v. 6
The increase in global temperature and issues with health and fitness has been linked to the extended use of vehicles. This essay agrees that expanded use of vehicles has contributed to the increasing global temperature and specific health problems. Firstly, the production of greenhouse gases by vehicles and secondly, other toxic chemicals that are released by the internal combustion engines will be discussed. On the one hand, there is ample, powerful, almost daily evidence that such technology can be detrimental, especially to the younger generation who are more easily affected by it’s addictive nature and which can result in people feeling more isolated from the society. The central reason behind this is twofold, firstly, the invention of online social media sites and apps, such as Twitter and Facebook have reduced crucial face-to-face interactions dramatically. Through use of these appealing and attractive mediums, people feel in touch and connected yet lack key social skills and the ability to communicate. Secondly, dependence on such devices is built up frighteningly easily which may have a damaging effect on mental health and encourage a sedentary lifestyle. For example, recent scientific research by the UK government demonstrated that 90% of people in their 30s spend over 20 hours per week on Messenger and similar applications to chat with their friends instead of meeting up and spending quality time together or doing sport. As a result, it is conclusively clear that these technology advancements have decreased and diminished our real life interactions. On the other hand, although there are significant downsides to technological developments, its’ multifold advantages cannot be denied. This is largely because the popularity of technology such as cell phones allows people to connect freely and easily with no geographical barriers. People are able to share any type of news, information, photos and opinions with their loved ones whenever and wherever they want, thereforetherefore keeping a feeling of proximity and closeness. For example, an extensive study by Oxford University illustrated that people who work, or study abroad and use applications like Facetime and WhatsApp to chat with their families, are less likely to experience loneliness and feel out of the loop than those who do not. Consistent with this line of thinking is that businessmen are also undoubtedly able to benefit from these advances by holding virtual real -time meetings using Skype, which may increase the chance of closing business deals without the need to fly. To conclude, from the arguments and examples given I firmly believe that overall communication and mans’ sociability has been advanced enormously due to huge the huge technological progress of the past twenty years and despite some potentially serious health implications which governments should not fail to address, it is predicted that its popularity will continue to flourish in the future.
The increase in global temperature and issues with
health
and fitness has
been linked
to the extended
use
of vehicles. This essay
agrees
that expanded
use
of vehicles has contributed to the increasing global temperature and specific
health
problems.
Firstly
, the production of greenhouse gases by vehicles and
secondly
, other toxic chemicals that
are released
by the internal combustion engines will
be discussed
.

On the one hand, there is ample, powerful, almost daily evidence that such technology can be detrimental,
especially
to the younger generation who are more
easily
affected
by
it’s addictive nature
and which can result in
people
feeling more isolated from the society. The central reason behind this is twofold,
firstly
, the invention of online social media sites and apps, such as Twitter and Facebook have
reduced
crucial face-to-face interactions
dramatically
. Through
use
of these appealing and attractive mediums,
people
feel in touch and connected
yet
lack key social
skills
and the ability to communicate.
Secondly
, dependence on such devices
is built
up
frighteningly
easily
which may have a damaging effect on mental
health
and encourage a sedentary lifestyle.
For example
, recent scientific research by the UK
government
demonstrated that 90% of
people
in their 30s spend over 20 hours per week on Messenger and similar applications to chat with their friends
instead
of meeting up and spending quality time together or doing sport.
As a result
, it is
conclusively
clear
that these technology advancements have decreased and diminished our real life interactions.

On the other hand
, although there are significant downsides to technological developments,
its’
multifold
advantages cannot
be denied
. This is
largely
because
the popularity of technology such as cell phones
allows
people
to connect
freely
and
easily
with no geographical barriers.
People
are able to share any type of news, information, photos and opinions with their
loved
ones whenever and wherever they want,
thereforetherefore
keeping a feeling of proximity and closeness.
For example
, an extensive study by Oxford University illustrated that
people
who work, or study abroad and
use
applications like
Facetime
and WhatsApp to chat with their families, are less likely to experience loneliness and feel out of the loop than those who do not. Consistent with this line of thinking is that businessmen are
also
undoubtedly
able to benefit from these advances by holding virtual real -time meetings using Skype, which may increase the chance of closing business deals without the need to
fly
.

To conclude
, from the arguments and examples
given
I
firmly
believe that
overall
communication and
mans
’ sociability has
been advanced
enormously
due to huge the huge technological progress of the past twenty years and despite
some
potentially
serious
health
implications which
governments
should not fail to address, it
is predicted
that its popularity will continue to flourish in the future.
16Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
10Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that technology has made man more social. with this opinion? v. 6

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
462 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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