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Some people believe that technology has made man more social. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? v.5

Some people believe that technology has made man more social. with this opinion? v. 5
It is often believed that mankind has become more sociable due to the technological development. In my point of view, I strongly disagree because such development has affected human lives negatively causing them to become less social and petrified from confrontations. One of the reasons I believe that development of technology has an insurmountable affect is its dependency on the Individual’s performance of tasks and self-isolation. Whereas, without it, people depend on teamwork and interactions with others. In other words, instead of interacting and communicating with other human beings, they interact with electrical communication devices such as mobile phones, tablets and computers. To illustrate, the internet nowadays has become the new era addiction, in which people tend to socialize individually online, each on their own electronic devices. As a result, they become more introverts with an increasing preference to solitude. Another reason to consider is that some of the humankind’s jobs are being performed by automated technical devices such as robots, which in return do more harm than good to both individuals and society. This is due to the high capability of these robotic machines’ outstanding performance compared to humans, as they can work more reliable, smarter and for much prolonged hours. Thus, many people lose their jobs, causing them problematic financial circumstances and unaffordability of cost of living. This might develop into depression resulting in an anti-social person that cannot perform well in society. To conclude, despite technology being a powerful tool to connect people and facilitate their lives, I, otherwise, believe that it will result in more unsociable generations with no real life communication skills.
It is
often
believed that mankind has
become
more sociable due to the technological development. In my point of view, I
strongly
disagree
because
such development has
affected
human
lives
negatively
causing them to
become
less social and petrified from confrontations.

One of the reasons I believe that development of technology has an insurmountable affect is its dependency on the Individual’s performance of tasks and self-isolation. Whereas, without it,
people
depend on teamwork and interactions with others.
In other words
,
instead
of interacting and communicating with other human beings, they interact with electrical communication devices such as mobile phones, tablets and computers. To illustrate, the internet nowadays has
become
the new era addiction, in which
people
tend to socialize
individually
online, each on their
own
electronic devices.
As a result
, they
become
more introverts with an increasing preference to solitude.

Another reason to consider is that
some
of the humankind’s jobs are
being performed
by automated technical devices such as robots, which in return do more harm than
good
to both individuals and society. This is due to the high capability of these robotic machines’ outstanding performance compared to humans, as they can work more reliable, smarter and for much prolonged hours.
Thus
,
many
people
lose their jobs, causing them problematic financial circumstances and
unaffordability
of cost of living. This might develop into depression resulting in an anti-social person that cannot perform well in society.

To conclude
, despite technology being a powerful tool to connect
people
and facilitate their
lives
, I,
otherwise
, believe that it will result in more unsociable generations with no real life communication
skills
.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that technology has made man more social. with this opinion? v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
267 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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