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Some people believe that teaching music in schools is a vital part of growing up and the human experience, whilst others believe that teaching music in schools is a waste of time and resources. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion v.1

Some people believe that teaching music in schools is a vital part of growing up and the human experience, whilst others believe that teaching music in schools is a waste of time and resources. 1
Few individuals think that music classes in school are essential part of growth and some experts argue this a waste of time and money. Moreover, people believe that this is a subject of arts and take it really lightly. This essay will discuss both views before drawing a rational conclusion. Every school should take an initiative to promote extracurricular activities like music classes, dance classes and many more for the benefits of students. Music classes would undoubtedly help students to relax and enjoy some free time away from daily study routine. Moreover, students can focus on their taste of dancing, singing other than studies, which may help them to build taste and be successful in that field in the future. For instance, few famous singers like Drake, Rihana, Chris brown, they were supported by their schools to opt music classes in their free time and now they are ruling the entire world with their music. On the contrary, spending money on music classes is considered to be a waste by few experts. They believe schools should not invest income in these activities because students cannot focus on their studies due to extra pressure on tune classes. To elaborate, they think student doesn't do their assignments and play with the music instruments, that is affecting their results in a big time. To conclude, I am convinced that these should be couple of music classes in every school because it helps the student to grow and learn more about their taste and future.
Few individuals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
are essential part of growth and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
experts argue this a waste of time and money.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that this is a subject of arts and take it
really
lightly
. This essay will discuss both views
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
drawing a rational conclusion.

Every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
should take an initiative to promote extracurricular activities like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
, dance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more for the benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Music
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
would
undoubtedly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to relax and enjoy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
free time away from daily study routine.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can focus on their taste of dancing, singing other than studies, which may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to build taste and be successful in that field in the future.
For instance
, few
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
singers like Drake,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Rihana
,
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
Chris brown
, they
were supported
by their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
to opt
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
in their free time and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
they are ruling the entire world with their music.

On the contrary
, spending money on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
is considered
to be a waste by few experts. They believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
should not invest income in these activities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
cannot focus on their studies due to extra pressure on tune
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
. To elaborate, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
doesn't do their assignments and play with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
instruments,
that is
affecting their results in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
time.

To conclude
, I
am convinced
that these should be
Consider using a past participle here: "coupled".
couple
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
in every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
to grow and learn more about their taste and future.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that teaching music in schools is a vital part of growing up and the human experience, whilst others believe that teaching music in schools is a waste of time and resources. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
251 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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