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TPO 49 Question 3 The man expresses his opinion about the proposal described in the letter Briefly summarize the proposal Then state his opinion about the proposal and explain the reasons he gives for holding that opinion v.1

TPO 49 Question 3 The man expresses his opinion about the proposal described in the letter Briefly summarize the proposal Then state his opinion about the proposal and explain the reasons he gives for holding that opinion v. 1
The human community is more and more enhanced by the support of the digital technology. Nowadays, it seems to be no distance between people because the fax, email or social network are already here doing their job of connecting. In other words, we can simply exchange information by using high-tech devices to send the information. In my opinion, it seems to me that these kind of technological communication helps us save money, make people's life be more convenient and flexible. To begin with the contribution of this to reduce distance between people from place to place. If there have something need to inform, phones can be used to send instant messages for this. For example, now teachers can use this technology to announce their students to prepare for some unexpected events such as cancelling classroom. In addition, this also help organisations improve their productivity due to its flexibility. In other words, staff can use email to send official information to their managers or their bosses and save this kind of communication simultaneously. Furthermore, employers can also enlarge their companies to be bigger because of the benefit of online meetings. Bosses can use this to arrange conferences or meetings with clients who are far away, for example, in foreign countries. Although there are many benefits, this perhaps contains some drawbacks, including making people are more isolated, bullied and this is a main cause of being addicted as well. For instance, children are more and more obsessed with using social media platforms such as Facebook or Tweeter. In conclusion, digital communication technology brings us many advantages such as reduce geographical gap between people, save resources that encourage our world to be more modern but also turn us to be the patients of addiction. In my view, we can both enjoy these benefits and reduce risks by having a certain consideration when using this kind of modern invention.
The human community is more and more enhanced by the support of the digital technology. Nowadays, it seems to be no distance between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the fax, email or social network are already here doing their job of connecting.
In other words
, we can
simply
exchange information by using high-tech devices to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
the information. In my opinion, it seems to me that
Did you mean "this kind" or "these kinds"?
these kind
of technological communication
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
us save money,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's life be more convenient and flexible.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with the contribution of this to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
distance between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from place to place. If there have something need to inform, phones can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
instant messages for this.
For example
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
teachers can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
this technology to announce their students to prepare for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
unexpected
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
such as cancelling classroom.

In addition
, this
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their productivity due to its flexibility.
In other words
, staff can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
email to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
official information to their managers or their bosses and save this kind of communication
simultaneously
.
Furthermore
, employers can
also
enlarge their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
to be bigger
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the benefit of online meetings. Bosses can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
this to arrange conferences or meetings with clients who are far away,
for example
, in foreign countries.

Although there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits, this perhaps contains
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks, including making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are more isolated, bullied and this is a main cause of
being addicted
as well
.
For instance
, children are more and more obsessed with using social media platforms such as Facebook or Tweeter.

In conclusion
, digital communication technology brings us
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages such as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
geographical gap between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, save resources that encourage our world to be more modern
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
turn us to be the patients of addiction. In my view, we can both enjoy these benefits and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
by having a certain consideration when using this kind of modern invention.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay TPO 49 Question 3 The man expresses his opinion about the proposal described in the letter Briefly summarize the proposal Then state his opinion about the proposal and explain the reasons he gives for holding that opinion v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
315 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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