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Some people believe that teaching music in schools is a vital part of growing up and the human experience, whilst others believe that teaching music in schools is a waste of time and resources. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience. v.2

Some people believe that teaching music in schools is a vital part of growing up and the human experience, whilst others believe that teaching music in schools is a waste of time and resources. v. 2
Music exists everywhere, in one form or another. Then why music as a learning is contentious? While, a part of the community believes that coaching melody in educational academies is essential to prosperous growth and experience of the students, other argue that this would be just an exhaustion of time and material. I strongly advocate the former view for various reasons. In this essay we will discuss both the aspects and will draw an inference. Although, music is incorporated in most of the schools these days, still, many people consider this as inappropriate for the child's learning. Firstly, music is taught as an extracurricular activity, so, it is fed in a student's mind right from the beginning that music is not as vital as studies. Moreover, even if a person is able to make his career in this form of art, there are not enough platforms to showcase their potential. A survey by Oxford university done on various professions, states that, out of 10 musicians just two flourish and rest struggle to make their ends meet. Therefore, it becomes more considerate to think that music is worthless of putting efforts. On the better side, teaching this art has multifarious benefits. Singing helps an individual to express his emotions, thoughts in the best possible way. Additionally, it also enhances creativity of a person. Various human psychology studies sas that the music connects the right brain to the left brain, and at that very moment the learning potential of a person reaches to its peak. To illustrate, in order that a toddler learns a number system or alphabets efficiently, it is induced in the form of rhymes, which becomes inevitable compound of the beginners' learning. However, there are many cons of this, but still the pros outweigh them. To recapitulate, having mulled over above stated information, and deliberating all the facts, it can be deducted that, where at one side teaching music is considered futile by many, it still continues to prove its importance to mankind.  I believe, music is not just a subject, but it also serves as a catalyst to aggravate other learning in a human being. Now, it becomes a responsibility of the government to provide enough opportunities to people opting for this as their profession and for other people to accept it wholeheartedly.
Music
exists everywhere, in one form or another. Then why
music
as a learning is contentious? While, a part of the community believes that coaching melody in educational academies is essential to prosperous growth and experience of the students, other argue that this would be
just
an exhaustion of time and material. I
strongly
advocate the former view for various reasons. In this essay we will discuss both the aspects and will draw an inference.

Although,
music
is incorporated
 in most of the schools these days,
still
,
many
people
consider this as inappropriate for the child's learning.
Firstly
,
music
is taught
as an extracurricular activity,
so
, it
is fed
in a student's mind right from the beginning that
music
is not as vital as studies.
Moreover
, even if a person is able to
make
his career in this form of art, there are not
enough
platforms to showcase their potential. A survey by Oxford university done on various professions, states that, out of 10 musicians
just
two flourish and rest
struggle
to
make
their ends
meet
.
Therefore
, it becomes more considerate to
think
that
music
is worthless of putting efforts.

On the better side, teaching this art has multifarious benefits. Singing
helps
 an individual to express his emotions, thoughts in the best possible way.
Additionally
, it
also
enhances creativity of a person. Various human psychology studies
sas
that the
music
connects the right brain to the
left
brain, and at that
very
moment the learning potential of a person reaches to its peak. To illustrate, in order that a toddler learns a number system or alphabets
efficiently
, it
is induced
in the form of rhymes, which becomes inevitable compound of the beginners' learning.
However
, there are
many
cons of this,
but
still
the pros outweigh them.

To recapitulate, having mulled over above stated information, and deliberating all the facts, it can
be deducted
that, where at one side teaching
music
is considered
futile by
many
, it
still
continues to prove its importance to mankind.  I believe,
music
is not
just
a subject,
but
it
also
serves as a catalyst to aggravate other learning in a human being.
Now
, it becomes a responsibility of the
government
to provide
enough
opportunities to
people
opting for this as their profession and for other
people
to accept it
wholeheartedly
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
Language comes first. It’s not that language grows out of consciousness, if you haven’t got language, you can’t be conscious.
Alan Moore

IELTS essay Some people believe that teaching music in schools is a vital part of growing up and the human experience, whilst others believe that teaching music in schools is a waste of time and resources. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
374 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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