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Some people believe that students should study in classrooms only to study. Others believe that students should also attend field trips such as visiting the zoo, museum or park to study. What's your opinion and why? Use specific reasons and examples v.1

Some people believe that students should study in classrooms only to study. Others believe that students should also attend field trips such as visiting the zoo, museum or park to study. What's your opinion and why? Use specific reasons and examples v. 1
We live in a modern and competitive age when many of us are always wanting to be successful. That means each of us has to equip ourselves with plenty of knowledge and skill to get over all the challenges. It is often said that these qualities cannot be learned at an academic institution. While I accept that studying at university is useful, I believe students should also learn from real-life activities. Firstly, let us take a look at all the advantages a person can get when attending a university. The higher education system provided us with expertise in our fields. Most theories, which have been collected by many experienced professors after many years of searching is really hard to find in real life. There are also a huge number of materials and case studies provided to help students can understand more about the subject. Because of that, learners can easily approach and master the fundamental knowledge without putting too much effort. Furthermore, complicated questions in the field can be answered quickly by those experts, so people who attend school could study more effectively than those who do not. University students not only encouraged by instructors and tutors, but they also get a college degree which makes the recruiters keep a special eye on you. Secondly, individuals cannot become successful without practical experiences. Learning by heart the theories doesn’t mean that you can handle most of the hard situations. In addition to gathering more incisive awareness by every day, each person has to understand that gaining more interpersonal skills is equally important. For example, many students graduate with excellent results in universities, but they cannot have a job due to their lack of experience. To be more skillfully, they need to know how to create an essential relationship network and dealing with competitors. These abilities just can be gained by working for a long time. Last but not least, learning must be practiced throughout one’s lifetime rather than only in schooling. In fact, successful people often are people who have a broad grasp of life and different fields. It is amassed through a very long time or even a lifetime. For instance, Steve Jobs – CEO of Apple have to research phones constantly finding new technologies to produce more advanced phones every year until he dies. In conclusion, I think people should improve their quality through both academic institutions and real-life situations if they want to achieve success in the current world.
We
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a modern and competitive age when
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of us are always wanting to be successful. That means each of us
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
equip ourselves with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of knowledge and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
over all the challenges. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
said that these qualities cannot
be learned
at an academic institution. While I accept that studying at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
is useful, I believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should
also
learn from real-life activities.

Firstly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
us take a look at all the advantages a person can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
when attending a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
. The higher education system provided us with expertise in our fields. Most theories, which have
been collected
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
experienced professors after
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
years of searching is
really
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to find in real life. There are
also
a huge number of materials and case studies provided to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can understand more about the subject.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of that, learners can
easily
approach and master the fundamental knowledge without putting too much effort.
Furthermore
, complicated questions in the field can
be answered
quickly
by those experts,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who attend school could study more
effectively
than those who do not.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
encouraged by instructors and tutors,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a college degree which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the recruiters
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
a special eye on you.

Secondly
, individuals cannot become successful without practical experiences. Learning by heart the theories doesn’t mean that you can handle most of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
situations.
In addition
to gathering more incisive awareness by every day, each person
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
understand that gaining more interpersonal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
is
equally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
graduate with excellent results in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they cannot have a job due to their lack of experience. To be more
skillfully
, they need to know how to create an essential relationship network and dealing with competitors. These abilities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
can
be gained
by working for a long time.

Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least, learning
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be practiced
throughout one’s lifetime
rather
than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
in schooling. In fact, successful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who have a broad grasp of life and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
fields. It
is amassed
through a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
long time or even a lifetime.
For instance
, Steve Jobs
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
CEO of Apple
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
research phones
constantly
finding new technologies to produce more advanced phones every year until he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
dies
.

In conclusion
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their quality through both academic institutions and real-life situations if they want to achieve success in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
world.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
He who knows no foreign languages knows nothing of his own.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

IELTS essay Some people believe that students should study in classrooms only to study. Others believe that students should also attend field trips such as visiting the zoo, museum or park to study. What's your opinion and why? Use specific reasons and examples v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
411 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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