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Campus Park Closing Currently, our university maintains a large 5, 000 square-foot park in the center of campus. After a great deal of thought and consideration, the administration has decided to close the campus park and construct a new, state-of-the-art v.1

Campus Park Closing Currently, our university maintains a large 5, 000 square-foot park in the center of campus. After a great deal of thought and consideration, the administration has decided to close the campus park and construct a new, state-of-the-art v. 1
It is a well known fact that all the people want to become a successful person in their life. Some people think that success of a child's is totally dependent on the parents. I partially agree with this statement and I will discuss in the upcoming paragraphs. To embark with, how child's success depends on their parents. First and foremost point is behaviour. In the modern era, most of the things children learn from their parents such as behaviour, way of talking and so on. If parents can treat their child with good behaviour, then the child definitely gives respect to their parents as well as others. Furthermore, the parents should spend more time with their children and give knowledge about their culture with this their child always live at the touch of their history. On the other hand, teachers also play a very important role in the life of children. In the modern era, if the teachers give proper knowledge about their education with this they do not have any stress on their mind can easily pass their final exams. Moreover, the teachers should always help their students in their study because the teachers is only one thing who give any kind of knowledge to their children with this child become a very successful person in the future and earn more and more money to fulfil their needs. To conclude, I think that both the parents and teachers play a very important role in the life of children to become successful.
It is a well known fact that all the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
want to become a successful person in their life.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that success of a child's is
totally
dependent on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
. I
partially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement and I will discuss in the upcoming paragraphs.

To embark with, how child's success depends on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
.
First
and foremost point is
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
. In the modern era, most of the things
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
learn from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
such as
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
, way of talking and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
can treat their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
, then the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
definitely
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gives
respect to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
as well
as others.
Furthermore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should spend more time with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
knowledge about their culture with this their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
at the touch of their history.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
also
play a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in the life of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. In the modern era, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
proper knowledge about their education with this they do not have any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
on their mind can
easily
pass their final exams.
Moreover
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
should always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
their students in their study
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one thing who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
any kind of knowledge to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
with this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
become a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
successful person in the future and earn more and more money to fulfil their needs.

To conclude
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
play a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in the life of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to become successful.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Campus Park Closing Currently, our university maintains a large 5, 000 square-foot park in the center of campus. After a great deal of thought and consideration, the administration has decided to close the campus park and construct a new, state-of-the-art v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
252 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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