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Some people believe that students should study at schools are better than studying in groups. However, others argue that students study at schools are better than they study on their owns. Discuss both views and give your opinion? v.1

Some people believe that students should study at schools are better than studying in groups. However, others argue that students study at schools are better than they study on their owns. v. 1
Many people are holding the view that students should study in group at school and that is lead to a controversial issue with a group of people who think study individual is better. In this essay, i will examine both points and give my own opinion. To begin with, it is irrefutable that pupils gather around can help each other expand their view of the subject they are learning because of different perspective from other classmate. Work in a team can help them separate full passage into a small parts so each person can have more time to concentrate on their mission and added efficiently. Consequently, they share their result and the harvested they get it is not take much times but still actively. On the other hand, however learning by them-self is help their understanding deeply. They can find the information they need immediately, do not have to worry or waiting until the previous person ready. They have the chance also times to find more knowledge by them-self. That process will help them figure out the problem clearly, knows many side of the problem they are facing and also do not concerned about the discussion of other people have made. Naturally, individual study trained students not being depend on others fellows but have to work and gains score personally. In conclusion, both personal study and association study brings benefits nevertheless, on my perspective single study is help learner earn more draws.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are holding the view that students should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
in group at school and
that is
lead to a controversial issue with a group of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
individual is better. In this essay,
Did you mean "I"?
i
will examine both points and give my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
opinion.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, it is irrefutable that pupils gather around can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
expand their view of the subject they are learning
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
perspective from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
classmate. Work in a team can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them separate full passage into a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
parts
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
each person can have more time to concentrate on their mission and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
efficiently
.
Consequently
, they share their result and the harvested they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
it is not take
Use "many" with countable nouns.
much
times
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
still
actively
.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
however
learning by them-self is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
their understanding
deeply
. They can find the information they need immediately, do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
worry or waiting until the previous person ready. They have the chance
also
times to find more knowledge by them-self. That process will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them figure out the problem
clearly
, knows
Possible agreement error. The noun side seems to be countable; consider using: "many sides".
many side
of the problem they are facing and
also
do not
After the auxiliary verb 'do', use the base form of a verb. Did you mean "concern"?
concerned
about the discussion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have made.
Naturally
, individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
trained students not being
Consider using a past participle here: "depended".
depend
on others fellows
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
work and gains score
personally
.

In conclusion
, both personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
and association
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
brings benefits
nevertheless
, on my perspective single
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
learner earn more draws.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
Language is wine upon the lips. – Virginia WoolfInspirational quotes for language learners
Virginia Woolf

IELTS essay Some people believe that students should study at schools are better than studying in groups. However, others argue that students study at schools are better than they study on their owns. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
242 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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