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During a recent plane journey, you sat next to a businessman who owns a chain of restaurants. You talked to him and he suggested that you should contact him about a possible in one of his restaurants. Write a letter to the businessman. In your letterRemind v.1

During a recent plane journey, you sat next to a businessman who owns a chain of restaurants. You talked to him and he suggested that you should contact him about a possible in one of his restaurants. Write a letter to the businessman. In your letterRemind v. 1
Tertiary schooling plays a vital role in human life. It is commonly believed that pupils ought to pay their higher education fee by on their own instead of getting help from the state. I completely disagree with this statement and will support my viewpoints in following paragraph. To begin with, if the state will not aid their juvenile citizen to get into graduate school than these problems will happen, those students who do not have such privileges to afford their higher studies will not be able to get admission in their desired field and will not be able to perform in jobs at their highest for the rest of their life. For example, there is a report on South Asia that 55% students in subcontinent cannot afford the particular field where they desired to go and due to the lack of public university they have to switch their field. After that, the government should back their youngster to get into college because it does help the country’s economy. The more people go into universities the more they will benefit their country’s economy, there will be less unemployment rate, they will be able to get a job in any organization, they will think for the prosperity of themselves as well as the prosperity of the country, some of them even able to start their own business eventually it will help government to run the country. For instance, if someone starts a business, then they will hire some employees, they will pay tax to the government, so it will be a benefit for all from the person who started the business to his employees to eventual government. In conclusion, although there are a lot of people who think that a person who want to get college tuition should bear the cost of education by the owner, however, I believe that government ought to subsidize coaching for their citizen in order to use their true potential for the betterment of the country.
Tertiary schooling plays a vital role in human life. It is
commonly
believed that pupils ought to pay their higher education fee by on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
instead
of getting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
from the state. I completely disagree with this statement and will support my viewpoints in following paragraph.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, if the state will not aid their juvenile citizen to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
into graduate school than these problems will happen, those students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
do not have such privileges to afford their higher studies will not be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
able
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
admission in their desired field and will not be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
able
to perform in jobs at their highest for the rest of their life.
For example
, there is a report on South Asia that 55% students in subcontinent cannot afford the particular field where they desired to go and due to the lack of public university they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
switch their field.

After that, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should back their youngster to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
into college
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it does
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country’s
economy. The more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
go into universities the more they will benefit their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country’s
economy, there will be less unemployment rate, they will be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
able
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a job in any organization, they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
for the prosperity of themselves
as well
as the prosperity of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them even
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
able
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
business
eventually
it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
to run the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
For instance
, if someone
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
a business, then they will hire
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
employees, they will pay tax to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it will be a benefit for all from the person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
the business to his employees to eventual
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
.

In conclusion
, although there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that a person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
college tuition should bear the cost of education by the owner,
however
, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
ought to subsidize coaching for their citizen in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their true potential for the betterment of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay During a recent plane journey, you sat next to a businessman who owns a chain of restaurants. You talked to him and he suggested that you should contact him about a possible in one of his restaurants. Write a letter to the businessman. In your letterRemind v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
329 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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