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Some people believe that students should be given one long vacation each year Others believe that students should have several short vacations throughout the year Which viewpoint do you agree with Use specific reasons and examples to support your choice v.2

Some people believe that students should be given one long vacation each year Others believe that students should have several short vacations throughout the year Which viewpoint do you agree with Use specific reasons and examples to support your choice v. 2
In recent times, there has been a widespread debate on whether students should have a long vacation or not. While some scholars prefer to have many short vacations in the year, I hold the opposite view. Personally, I think students should have one long vacation each year. To begin with, when students have a long vacation, they will get more entertainments. They will have the chance to discover the city that they visit and enjoy spending much time over there. For instance, when I had two months vacations last year, I came to the United states and I took road trip between states. I went first to Niagara Fall and I enjoyed the waterfalls over there. Then, I drove to New York and visited the Time Square. Furthermore, I went to smoky mountains in Tennessee. Also, I was able to enjoy the walking river in San Antonio, Taxes. I did all that and I discovered many places because the long vacation that I had. On the other hand, If I had short vacation definitely I would not be able to travel around all these cities. Adding to the previous point, when scholars have a long vacation, they will have the time to get relaxed. They will refresh their brains from the huge stress during the heavy study. For instance, if some students take long days to keep their brains calm and avoid any kinds of annoying thoughts, they would allow more tissues in the brain to develop and generate. Thus, they will come to the next semester more energetic and eager to learn and accept information. On top of that, when students take a long vacation, they will save their budget. There are many tourists companies that offer an enormous discount when people book for more than three weeks. For example, last times I tried to make a hotel reservation through Priceline application. At first, the price was $300 per night for only three days in Las Vegas. However, the price dramatically dropped when I booked for three weeks. It was only $50 per night. Apparently, scholars will save cash when they take a long vacation each year. In conclusion, I encourage students to get one long vacation each year. This is not only because they will enjoy more but also, they will get relaxed and save their budget.
In recent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
, there has been a widespread debate on whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vacation
or not. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
scholars prefer to have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
short
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vacations
in the year, I hold the opposite view.
Personally
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should have one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vacation
each year.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vacation
, they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more entertainments. They will have the chance to discover the city that they visit and enjoy spending much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
over there.

For instance
, when I had two months
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vacations
last year, I came to the
The proper noun "United States" needs to be capitalized.
United states
and I took road trip between states. I went
first
to Niagara Fall and I enjoyed the waterfalls over there. Then, I drove to New York and visited the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Time
Square.
Furthermore
, I went to smoky mountains in Tennessee.
Also
, I was able to enjoy the walking river in San Antonio, Taxes. I did all that and I discovered
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
places
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vacation
that I had.
On the other hand
, If I had short
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vacation
definitely I would not be able to travel around all these cities.

Adding to the previous point, when scholars have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vacation
, they will have the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
relaxed. They will refresh their brains from the huge
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
during the heavy study.
For instance
, if
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
long
days to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
their brains calm and avoid any kinds of annoying thoughts, they would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
more tissues in the brain to develop and generate.
Thus
, they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to the
next
semester more energetic and eager to learn and accept information.

On top of that
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
take a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vacation
, they will save their budget. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
tourists
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
that offer an enormous discount when
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
book for more than three weeks.
For example
, last
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
I tried to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a hotel reservation through Priceline application. At
first
, the price was $300 per night for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
three days in Las Vegas.
However
, the price
dramatically
dropped when I booked for three weeks. It was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
$50 per night.
Apparently
, scholars will save cash when they take a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vacation
each year.

In conclusion
, I encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vacation
each year. This is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they will enjoy more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
, they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
relaxed and save their budget.
16Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
31Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
As a hawk flieth not high with one wing, even so a man reacheth not to excellence with one tongue.
Roger Ascham

IELTS essay Some people believe that students should be given one long vacation each year Others believe that students should have several short vacations throughout the year Which viewpoint do you agree with Use specific reasons and examples to support your choice v. 2

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
389 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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