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Some people believe that students should be given one long vacation each year Others believe that students should have several short vacations throughout the year Which viewpoint do you agree with Use specific reasons and examples to support your choice v.1

Some people believe that students should be given one long vacation each year Others believe that students should have several short vacations throughout the year Which viewpoint do you agree with Use specific reasons and examples to support your choice v. 1
EXERCISE IS ESSENTIAL FOR ANY HUMAN BEING, ESPECIALLY IF THEY ARE DOING A JOB WHICH DOESN'T INVOLVE MUCH PHYSICAL ACTIVITY. ALTHOUGH WORKING OUT IS VITAL FOR A PERSON TO STAY HEALTHY, WORKING PEOPLE IGNORE THIS FACT, DUE TO VARIOUS ISSUES. IN THE FIRST PART OF THE ESSAY, I PLAN TO DISCUSS THE POSSIBLE REASONS FOR THIS AND IN THE SECOND PART, PROPOSE A SOLUTION WHICH WOULD HELP TO ENCOURAGE THEM TO EXERCISE MORE OFTEN. NOWADAYS, PEOPLE ARE ON THE GO NONSTOP, MAINLY BECAUSE OF THEIR WORK COMMITMENTS. COMPANIES EXPECT THEIR EMPLOYEES TO WORK FOR MORE THAN THE STIPULATED WORKING HOURS. THIS MAKES AN EMPLOYEE UNDERGO STRESSFUL CONDITIONS. IN ADDITION, ALLOCATING TIME TO EXERCISE HAS LONGE SINCE BEEN A CHALLENGE FOR WORKING PEOPLE AND THEY INCREASINGLY IGNORE IT DUE TO THIS PRESSURE. THIS LIFESTYLE MAKES THEM UNHEALTHIER AND EFFECTS THEIR IMMUNE SYSTEM. FOR EXAMPLE, MY FRIEND, WHO WAS KEEN ON GOING TO GYM, COULD NEVER MAKE TIME, BECAUSE HE WAS WORKING FOR A SUPPORT PROJECT IN A NETWORKING COMPANY FOR ABOUT 15 HOURS AND WAS EXHAUSTED AFTER EACH SHIFT. WITHIN A YEAR, HE HAD LOST ABOUT 10 KILOGRAMS OF WEIGHT WHICH MAKD HIM VERY WEAK AND OFTEN STARTED TO FALL SICK DUE TO INFECTIONS AND FLU'S. ONE POSSIBLE SOLUTION TO RESOLVE THIS ISSUE MIGHT BE FOR PEOPLE TO PURCHASE THEIR OWN FITNESS EQUIPMENT FOR HIS OR HER HOME IN ORDER TO EASILY ACCESSIBLE CHOOSING AN ALTERNATIVE TO GYM SIMILAR TO MEDITATION OR YOGA. ANOTHER WAY MIGHT BE FOR OFFICES TO PROVIDE THEIR EMPLOYEES WITH A GYM SPACE AND OFFER GIFTS OR COUPONS FOR THE PERSONS WHO SHOW POSITIVE INCREASES IN TERMS OF THEIR FITNESS LEVELS. FOR EXAMPLE, EVERY YEAR OUR COMPANY OFFERS A TRIP TO AUSTRALIA FOR ABOUT 100 PERSONS IF THEY REACH 10, 000 FOOTSTEPS BECHMARK A DAY FOR ABOUT 6 CONSECUTIVE MONTHS. IN CONCLUSION, EVEN THOUGH PEOPLE ARE SO BUSY DUE TO THEIR WORKING CHALLENGES, THEY CAN ARRANGE A FITNESS SETUP IN THEIR HOME FOR EXERCISING AND COMPANIES ALSO SHOULD OFFER THEM COUPONS OR PRIZES WHO STAYS FIT AND HEALTHIER.
EXERCISE IS ESSENTIAL FOR ANY HUMAN BEING,
ESPECIALLY
IF THEY ARE DOING A JOB WHICH DOESN'T INVOLVE MUCH PHYSICAL ACTIVITY. ALTHOUGH
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
WORKING
OUT IS VITAL FOR A PERSON TO STAY HEALTHY,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
WORKING
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PEOPLE
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
IGNORE
THIS FACT,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
DUE
TO VARIOUS ISSUES. IN THE
FIRST
PART OF THE ESSAY, I PLAN TO DISCUSS THE POSSIBLE REASONS FOR THIS AND IN THE SECOND PART, PROPOSE A SOLUTION WHICH WOULD
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
HELP
TO ENCOURAGE THEM TO EXERCISE MORE
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
OFTEN
.

NOWADAYS,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PEOPLE
ARE ON THE GO NONSTOP,
MAINLY
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
BECAUSE
OF THEIR WORK COMMITMENTS.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
COMPANIES
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
EXPECT
THEIR EMPLOYEES TO WORK FOR MORE THAN THE STIPULATED
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
WORKING
HOURS. THIS
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
MAKES
AN EMPLOYEE UNDERGO STRESSFUL CONDITIONS.
IN ADDITION
, ALLOCATING TIME TO EXERCISE HAS
Possible spelling mistake found.
LONGE
SINCE BEEN A CHALLENGE FOR
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
WORKING
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PEOPLE
AND THEY
INCREASINGLY
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
IGNORE
IT
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
DUE
TO THIS PRESSURE. THIS LIFESTYLE
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
MAKES
THEM UNHEALTHIER AND EFFECTS THEIR IMMUNE SYSTEM.
FOR EXAMPLE
, MY FRIEND, WHO WAS KEEN ON GOING TO GYM, COULD NEVER
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
MAKE
TIME,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
BECAUSE
HE WAS
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
WORKING
FOR A SUPPORT PROJECT IN A NETWORKING
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
COMPANY
FOR ABOUT 15 HOURS AND
WAS EXHAUSTED
AFTER EACH SHIFT. WITHIN A YEAR, HE HAD LOST ABOUT 10 KILOGRAMS OF WEIGHT WHICH
Possible spelling mistake found.
MAKD
HIM
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
VERY
WEAK AND
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
OFTEN
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
STARTED
TO FALL SICK
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
DUE
TO INFECTIONS AND FLU'S.

ONE POSSIBLE SOLUTION TO RESOLVE THIS ISSUE MIGHT BE FOR
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PEOPLE
TO
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
PURCHASE
THEIR
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
OWN
FITNESS EQUIPMENT FOR
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
HIS OR HER
HOME IN ORDER TO
EASILY
ACCESSIBLE CHOOSING AN ALTERNATIVE TO GYM SIMILAR TO MEDITATION OR YOGA. ANOTHER WAY MIGHT BE FOR OFFICES TO PROVIDE THEIR EMPLOYEES WITH A GYM SPACE AND OFFER GIFTS OR COUPONS FOR THE PERSONS WHO
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
SHOW
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
POSITIVE
INCREASES IN TERMS OF THEIR FITNESS LEVELS.
FOR EXAMPLE
, EVERY YEAR OUR
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
COMPANY
OFFERS A TRIP TO AUSTRALIA FOR ABOUT 100 PERSONS IF THEY REACH 10, 000 FOOTSTEPS
Possible spelling mistake found.
BECHMARK
A DAY FOR ABOUT 6 CONSECUTIVE MONTHS.

IN CONCLUSION
,
EVEN THOUGH
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PEOPLE
ARE
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
SO
BUSY
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
DUE
TO THEIR
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
WORKING
CHALLENGES, THEY CAN ARRANGE A FITNESS SETUP IN THEIR HOME FOR EXERCISING AND
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
COMPANIES
ALSO
SHOULD OFFER THEM COUPONS OR PRIZES WHO
Did you mean "stay"? Alternatively, check whether the singular of 'PRIZES' should be used.
STAYS
FIT AND HEALTHIER.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that students should be given one long vacation each year Others believe that students should have several short vacations throughout the year Which viewpoint do you agree with Use specific reasons and examples to support your choice v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
341 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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