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Some people believe that sport has an important role in society. Others, however, feel that it is nothing more than a leisure activity for some people. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.2

Some people believe that sport has an important role in society. Others, however, feel that it is nothing more than a leisure activity for some people. v. 2
The current world is experiencing a large transition in involving more in physical activities in order to be fit and healthy. Some amount of sports enthusiastic people believes that sports play a vital role in society while some still thinks it's just a leisure activity. This essay will discuss the difference of opinion among people regarding the role of sports in the society. On one hand, People who knew about sports believe that it is necessary and has a positive implication in the society. The reason behind it is because sports make people work actively and in addition to it, it also increases confidence which further helps them to succeed in life. For instance, Ronaldo participating more in physical activities helped him to save a couple of people from the recent bush fires because of his athletic's Efforts. Hence, involving in sports activities enable people to work effectively and can contribute largely to the society. On the other hand, some people believe it's not that important and they also feel it's just a leisure activity for some people. They feel it doesn't take them any where in their carrier's and something that doesn't help in their carrier is just a waste of time. For example, Ram prefers to involve in more research activities than sports and this resulted him to win a Nobel prize as he didn't waste his time in involving in physical activities. Hence, these sets of people believe that people must involve in activities which build careers rather than spending time in activities which doesn't take you anywhere. So, do we need sports in our lives? Well, It's always a debatable topic in the society whether its important or just a pass time activity that people do. There are few evidences which say that they play a crucial role in the society while few say they are not. In my opinion, Sports are really important for personal development and boost once confidence.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
world is experiencing a large transition in involving more in physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
in order to
be fit
and healthy.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
enthusiastic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
believes
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
play a vital role in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
still
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thinks
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
it's
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
. This essay will discuss the difference of opinion among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
regarding the role of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
in the society.

On one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
who knew about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that it is necessary and has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
implication in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. The reason behind it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
work
actively
and
in addition
to it, it
also
increases confidence which
further
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to succeed in life.
For instance
, Ronaldo participating more in physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
him to save a couple of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from the recent bush fires
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of his athletic's

Efforts.
Hence
, involving in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
enable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to work
effectively
and can contribute
largely
to the society.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
it's
not that
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
important and
they
also
feel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
it's
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. They feel it doesn't take them
Did you mean "anywhere"?
any where
in their carrier's and something that doesn't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in their carrier is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a waste of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
For example
, Ram prefers to involve in more research
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
and this resulted him to win a
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
Nobel prize
as he didn't waste his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
Adverb repetition. Please, verify.
in involving in
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
.
Hence
, these sets of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
involve in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
which build careers
rather
than spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
which doesn't take you anywhere.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, do we need
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
? Well,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
It's
always a debatable topic in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
whether its
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a pass
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do. There are few evidences which say that they play a crucial role in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
while few say they are not. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Sports
are
really
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for personal development and boost once confidence.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
46Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that sport has an important role in society. Others, however, feel that it is nothing more than a leisure activity for some people. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
325 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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