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Problems Like Juvenile Delinquency Arise From The Fact That Many Married Woman Now Work And Are Not At Home To Care For Their Children v.1

Problems Like Juvenile Delinquency Arise From The Fact That Many Married Woman Now Work And Are Not At Home To Care For Their Children v. 1
Most women are now coming out of their traditional role as a homemaker and joining professions that were once dominated by men. As a result, they get to spend less time with their children. According to some people, working mothers who do not have enough time for their children may trigger behaviour problems and criminal tendencies in them. In my opinion, this is just one of the many factors that lead to juvenile crime. If we examine the profile of teenage criminals, we can see that they come from all sorts of family backgrounds. If all of them had working moms, it would be easy to establish a link between juvenile delinquency and mother’s neglect but that is rarely the case. Many young criminals have stayed at home mothers who have all the time in the world for their children. Yet, their children take to crime. One reason for this is poverty. Many teenagers who commit crimes come from very poor family backgrounds. Another factor that encourages lawlessness is the lack of education. Actually, children coming from families where both parents work are less likely to have to cope with poverty or illiteracy and this may reduce their chances of committing crime. At the same time, lack of parental supervision is a cause for concern. If parents are not around children may get into wrong company or they may spend all the time in front of the computer or television. For example, children may befriend criminals who lead them astray or they may access violent or harmful content on the internet or television. Both factors increase their chances of becoming criminals. Hence, mothers who are always busy with work certainly increase their children’s chances of turning into criminals. However, asking women to stop going to work is not the solution to teenage crime. Instead of giving up on their career for the sake of their children, women should get the help of trusted family members or a caretaker to supervise their children. It is also important for them to spend quality point with their children whenever that is possible. No matter how busy a woman is, the truth is that it is still possible for her to enquire about her children’s day and stay updated about the happenings in their life. It is important for mothers to realize that their achievements will lack shine if their children end up becoming criminals and non-achievers. To conclude, mother’s neglect could be a factor that promotes criminal activities among teenagers but it is neither the only factor nor the most important cause of juvenile misconduct. Having said that, both working and non-working mothers can reduce their children’s chances of becoming criminals by being a pillar of constant support for them.
Most women are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
coming out of their traditional role as a homemaker and joining professions that were once dominated by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
.
As a result
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to spend less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. According to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, working mothers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
do not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
may trigger
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
problems and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
tendencies in them. In my opinion, this is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
one of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
that lead to juvenile crime.

If we examine the profile of teenage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
from all sorts of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
backgrounds. If all of them had working moms, it would be easy to establish a link between juvenile delinquency and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mother’s
neglect
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
that is
rarely the case.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
have stayed at home mothers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in the world for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
Yet
, their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
take to crime. One reason for this is poverty.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
commit crimes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
backgrounds. Another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factor
that encourages lawlessness is the lack of education. Actually,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
coming from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
where both parents work are less likely to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
cope with poverty or illiteracy and this may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chances
of committing crime.

At the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, lack of parental supervision is a cause for concern. If parents are not around
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
into
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
Use a comma before 'or' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
company or
they may spend all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in front of the computer or television.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
may befriend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
lead them
Use a comma before 'or' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
astray or
they may access violent or harmful content on the internet or television. Both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
increase their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chances
of becoming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
.
Hence
, mothers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are always busy with work
certainly
increase their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chances
of turning into criminals.

However
, asking women to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
going to work is not the solution to teenage crime.
Instead
of giving up on their career for the sake of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, women should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of trusted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members or a caretaker to supervise their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. It is
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for them to spend quality point with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
whenever
that is
possible. No matter how busy a woman is, the truth is that it is
still
possible for her to
Possible spelling mistake. 'enquire' is British English.
enquire
about her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
day and stay updated about the happenings in their life. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for mothers to realize that their achievements will lack shine if their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up becoming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
and non-achievers.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mother’s
neglect could be a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factor
that promotes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
activities among
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is neither the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factor
nor the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
cause of juvenile misconduct. Having said that, both working and non-working mothers can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chances
of becoming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
by being a pillar of constant support for them.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
47Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
You can never understand one language until you understand at least two.
Geoffrey Willans

IELTS essay Problems Like Juvenile Delinquency Arise From The Fact That Many Married Woman Now Work And Are Not At Home To Care For Their Children v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
457 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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