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Some people believe that sport has an important role in society. Others, however, feel that it is nothing more than a leisure activity for some people. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant example from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words. v.1

Some people believe that sport has an important role in society. Others, however, feel that it is nothing more than a leisure activity for some people. v. 1
Since the last three decades, sport activities has become a debatable issue across the globe. While some people admits that indulging in sports is beneficial for different reasons, others argue that with the advancement of technology and people following sedentary lifestyle, any sport is just a mere leisure activity. In this essay, I will discuss both of these views and why I conceive that playing sport is of dire importance in society. Majority number of working professionals and retired people consider physical activities suchs as excercise or sports as a leisure activities rather than making a part of their daily routine. This is because technological advancements and late-working hours in an office often restricts an individual to maintain an active lifestyle. For instance, nowadays, young generation spend hours on their lapotop and mobile devices due to which they become mentally drain and have no strength to induldge in any sport activity on regular basis. Therefore, for professionals and young technology addicts sports has become a leisure which they do once in a month. Conversely, there is a group of people myself included, who insists that playing sports regularly is extremely important. It not only enhances our mental growth, but also physical strength. Furthermore, individuals can gain a natural advantage out of it such as leadership and time management qualities. For example, if children play in a team in a competitive sports would not only boos their confidence to lead and put combined efforts in the team, but it will also intensify their core health and body. Hence, to learn the key aspects of life such as time management would help in leading a bright future ahead forever. In conculsion, though sports has been considered a major part for relaxation by a few people in society, but we must not forget the paramount importance of sports which always helps an individual to keep his life on track. I strongly believe that, playing regular sports is of sheer value in our society for a better future and regular growth.
Since the last three decades,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
has become a debatable issue across the globe. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
admits
that indulging in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
is beneficial for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
reasons, others argue that with the advancement of technology and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
following sedentary lifestyle, any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a mere leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
. In this essay, I will discuss both of these views and why I conceive that playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
is of dire importance in society.

Majority number of working professionals and retired
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
consider physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
Possible spelling mistake found.
suchs
as
Possible spelling mistake found.
excercise
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
as a leisure
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "activity"?
activities
rather
than making a part of their daily routine. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
technological advancements and late-working hours in an office
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
restricts an individual to maintain an active lifestyle.
For instance
, nowadays, young generation spend hours on their
Possible spelling mistake found.
lapotop
and mobile devices due to which they become mentally drain and have no strength to
Possible spelling mistake found.
induldge
in any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
on regular basis.
Therefore
, for professionals and young technology addicts
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
has become a leisure which they do once in a month.

Conversely
, there is a group of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
myself included, who insists that playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
regularly
is
extremely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
. It not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
enhances our mental growth,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
physical strength.
Furthermore
, individuals can gain a natural advantage out of it such as leadership and time management qualities.
For example
, if children play in a team in a competitive
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "sport"?
sports
would not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
The verb 'would' requires base form of the verb: "boo"
boos
their confidence to lead and put combined efforts in the team,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it will
also
intensify their core health and body.
Hence
, to learn the key aspects of life such as time management would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in leading a bright future ahead forever.

In
Possible spelling mistake found.
conculsion
, though
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
has
been considered
a major part for relaxation by a few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in society,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
not forget the paramount importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
which always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
an individual to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
his life on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
track
. I
strongly
believe that, playing regular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
is of sheer value in our society for a better future and regular growth.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes
As a hawk flieth not high with one wing, even so a man reacheth not to excellence with one tongue.
Roger Ascham

IELTS essay Some people believe that sport has an important role in society. Others, however, feel that it is nothing more than a leisure activity for some people. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
337 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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