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Many offenders commit more crimes after serving the first punishment. Why is this happening‚ and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem? v.12

Many offenders commit more crimes after serving the first punishment. Why is this happening‚ and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem? v. 12
Crime rate has dramatically inclined in recent time and has became headache of thriving nations. Since technology has taken the front seat, it has become a cake walk for criminal to commit crimes in no time. this essay will examine the reason behind committing crime of former criminal and some possible solution to eradicate this problem. There are numerous reasons which are encouraging former criminal to commit crime again. Firstly, after committing first crime, criminal usually get in contact with professional criminals which lead them to perform more crimes after being free from imprisonment. To be specific, Jail is always full with gangster and drug mafias, and prisoners are always kept in bunches due to less space which allows them to interact with each other. Thus, they plan something big in jail and countdown of becoming criminal starts. What is more, people does not give criminals respect that they had before being criminal and always consider them suspect which force them to get engage in criminal activities again There are few remedies to root-out this problem. First and foremost, There should not be that strict captivity for small culprits and thieves and they ought to be kept separately. Because long imprisonment and friendship with professional criminal in jail tempt them to commit more crime. Furthermore, education is know as third eye. Usually criminals belong to lack of educational background. however, sound education should be provided them by jail authorities during their sentence in order to make them good inhabitants when they are free man. Last but not the least, free mind is home of devils. Hence, employment ought to be arranged by government so that criminals can be kept busy to eliminate their criminal thought and keeping them busy can be a handsome idea to do so To recapitulate, a criminal was never a criminal, he born as a innocent, got hail as a innocent. therefore, government should try to find out the reasons which encourage people to commit so that crime can be eliminated and so is criminal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Crime
rate has
dramatically
inclined in recent time and has
Use past participle here: "become".
became
headache of thriving nations. Since technology has taken the front seat, it has become a cake walk for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
commit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
in no time.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
this
essay will examine the reason behind committing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
of former
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
possible solution to eradicate this problem.

There are numerous reasons which are encouraging former
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
commit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
again.
Firstly
, after committing
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
usually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
in contact with professional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
which lead them to perform more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
after being free from imprisonment. To be specific,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Jail
is always
The usual collocation for "full" is "of" not "with". Did you mean "full of"?
full with
gangster and drug mafias, and prisoners are always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
in bunches due to less space which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
them to interact with each other.
Thus
, they plan something
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jail
and countdown of becoming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
.
What is more
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
does
not give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
respect that they had
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
and always consider them suspect which force them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
engage in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
activities
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
again


There are few remedies to root-out this problem.
First
and foremost, There should not be that strict captivity for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
culprits and
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
thieves and
they ought to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
separately
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
long imprisonment and friendship with professional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jail
tempt them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
commit
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
.
Furthermore
, education is know as third eye.
Usually
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
belong to lack of educational background.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
however
, sound education should
be provided
them by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jail
authorities during their sentence in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
inhabitants when they are free
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not the least, free mind is home of devils.
Hence
, employment ought to
be arranged
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
busy to eliminate their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
and keeping them busy can be a handsome
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so


To recapitulate, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
was never a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
,
It seems that a verb is missing after "he". Please verify.
he
born as
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
innocent,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
hail as
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
innocent.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
therefore
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should try to find out the reasons which encourage
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
commit
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
can
be eliminated
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
32Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Mistakes

IELTS essay Many offenders commit more crimes after serving the first punishment. Why is this happening‚ and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem? v. 12

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
338 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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