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More people are migrating to cities in search of a better life, but city life can be extremely difficult. Explain some of the difficulties of living in a city. How can the government make urban life better for everyone? v.3

It is a well-known fact that cities offer many conveniences and opportunities that are not present in rural areas, nut there do not come without a cost. Higher living costs, pollution, loosely relationships between people and frantic competition are some of the reasons that make living in the city difficult. The government has a lot to do to improve urban life and make it easier. In this essay I will discuss both questions in detail. The main problem for anyone who moves to the city is the overwhelming costs in comparison with small towns. The cost of education, treatment, house rent, food, and daily essentials are far higher in the city. Another problem is pollution which makes metropolitan areas less suitable for children growing up. Cities are contaminate areas where CO2 emission, the presence of carbon and other toxic elements in the air is higher. Another drawback which makes living in cities hard, is social discrimination which is way higher in city areas than other parts of the country. There is social classification and a huge gap between poor and rich. Moreover, people living in small villages and towns have exceptional connections and they know each other well which is quite the opposite in a city. Moreover, city life is full of competition. Someone has to compete to get into a public car, wait several hours in the traffic jam and fight so hard to get a decent job. I believe there are many steps that a government can take to tackle these issues. Firstly, the government should control the prices of the daily commodities, they should as will build more high rising buildings to reduce the rents. More public buses and metros with better facilities shall be introduced to reduce the traffic jam. Developing provincial towns would let the authorities shift many industries to these regions and thus reduce the pressure on the cities. In conclusion, the government should take initiatives towards improving people’s living standards in cities and make sure rural areas and towns have plenty of job opportunities to reduce the pressure on big cities.
It is a well-known fact that
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cities
offer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
conveniences and opportunities that are not present in rural
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areas
,
Did you mean “not”?
nut
there do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
without a
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cost
. Higher
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living
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costs
, pollution,
loosely
relationships between
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and frantic competition are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of the reasons that
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make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in the city difficult. The
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government
has a lot to do to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
urban life and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
it easier. In this essay I will discuss both questions in detail.

The main problem for anyone who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moves
to the city is the overwhelming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
costs
in comparison
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
towns
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cost
of education, treatment,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
rent, food, and daily essentials are far higher in the city. Another problem is pollution which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
metropolitan
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areas
less suitable for children growing up.
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Cities
are contaminate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
where CO2 emission, the presence of carbon and other toxic elements in the air is higher.

Another drawback which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
, is social discrimination which is way higher in city
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
than other parts of the country. There is social classification and a huge gap between poor and rich.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
villages and
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towns
have exceptional
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
connections and
they know each other well which is quite the opposite in a city.
Two successive sentences begin with the same adverb. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
Moreover
, city life is full of competition. Someone
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
compete to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
into a public car, wait several hours in the traffic jam and fight
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a decent job.

I believe there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
steps that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
can take to tackle these issues.
Firstly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should control the prices of the daily commodities, they should as will build more high rising buildings to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reduce
the rents. More public buses and metros with better facilities shall
be introduced
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reduce
the traffic jam. Developing provincial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
towns
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
the authorities shift
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
industries to these regions and
thus
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reduce
the pressure on the cities.

In conclusion
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should take initiatives towards improving
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
standards in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
sure rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
towns
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of job opportunities to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reduce
the pressure on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
.
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With languages, you are at home anywhere.
Edward De Waal

IELTS essay more and more people are migrating to cities in search of better life, but city life can be extremely difficult. Explain some of the difficulties of living in a city. How can government make urban life better for everyone?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
348 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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