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Some people believe that spending time away from people we care about helps us improve our relationship with them, because being away from these people makes us realize how important they are to us. Other people believe that to improve our relationships w v.2

Some people believe that spending time away from people we care about helps us improve our relationship with them, because being away from these people makes us realize how important they are to us. Other people believe that to improve our relationships w v. 2
Throughout history, friendship relationships have played a prominent role in personal life. Due to its paramount importance and direct impact on a given person, efforts for its improvements have always been amongst the top priorities of personal life. One of the issues regarding this topic is the spending time away from people we care about helping us to improve our relationship with them. Some people are inclined toward the opinion that being away from people we care about makes us realize how important they are to us, while others believe that spending time apart can damage or harm a relationship. I, despite the general consensus, contend that, we should spend as much time with our friends as possible. In what follows, I will aptly substantiate my viewpoint. The first exquisite point to be mentioned is that striking a balance is a must in our relationships. Due to the complexity of new life, realistic limits are imposed on the amount of time we can spend with our friends. If we impose a low level of availability in our relationship too, others will become the top priorities of our life. After a while, we will adapt to spending time with our work, computer game, social network and so on. Studies show that, today social network become the best friend of 60 percent of people in Iran. In other word, they are rival of our friendship relationship. So, there is no doubt that absence really hurt to our relationship. To illustrate this issue, take a personal example, back in 2012, one day I think that spending a time away from my best friend help me to realize how important they are to me, but unexpectedly, results were completely different. I try to launch new work on campus, in this way became familiar with new people, spend all of time with them or at the office. Suddenly, I figure out we don’t have any common words, spending time apart cause to break our relationship. Another equally significant point to be mentioned is that without keeping in touch with our friend, we can’t transfer our emotions to them. Spending time with them cause to talking about a variety of issues, we will become more familiar with their habits, emotions, concerns and so on. When they confront with a problem, we can help them to solve it. Take a personal experience as an example, I have a plethora of problems relating to the wedding party, not only are my friends supportive, but they also help me to manage problems. All efforts and presence beside me contributing to the fact that I realize how they are important for me. In brief, contemplating all the aforementioned reasons, one soon realizes that spending our time a part of our friend not only couldn’t improve our relation but also have awful effect. Striking a balance is the most important factor in order to improve our friendship relationship. Consequently, it is highly suggested that people keep in touch with their friends.
Throughout history, friendship
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationships
have played a prominent role in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. Due to its paramount importance and direct impact on a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
person, efforts for its improvements have always been amongst the top priorities of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. One of the issues regarding this topic is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
away from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
we care about helping us to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationship
with them.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are inclined
toward the opinion that being away from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
we care about
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
us
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
realize
how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
they are to us, while others believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
apart can damage or harm a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationship
. I, despite the
Consider using "consensus".
general consensus
, contend that, we should spend as much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
as possible. In what follows, I will
aptly
substantiate my viewpoint.

The
first
exquisite point to
be mentioned
is that striking a balance is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationships
. Due to the complexity of new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, realistic limits
are imposed
on the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
we can spend with our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
. If we impose a low level of availability in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationship
too, others will become the top priorities of our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. After a while, we will adapt to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with our work, computer game, social network and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. Studies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
social network become the best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
of 60 percent of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in Iran. In other word, they are rival of our friendship
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationship
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, there is no doubt that absence
really
hurt to our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationship
. To illustrate this issue, take a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
example, back in 2012, one day I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
away from my best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
me to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
realize
how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
they are to me,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
unexpectedly
, results were completely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
. I try to launch new work on campus, in this way became familiar with new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, spend all of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with them or at the office.
Suddenly
, I figure out we don’t have any common words,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
apart cause to break our relationship.

Another
equally
significant point to
be mentioned
is that without keeping in touch with our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
, we can’t transfer our emotions to them.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with them cause to talking about a variety of issues, we will become more familiar with their habits, emotions, concerns and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. When they confront with a problem, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to solve it. Take a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
experience as an example, I have a plethora of problems relating to the wedding party, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
are my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
supportive,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
me to manage problems. All efforts and presence beside me contributing to the fact that I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
realize
how they are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
for me.

In brief
, contemplating all the aforementioned reasons, one
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
realizes
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
a part of our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
couldn’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
our relation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
have awful
Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: "effected".
effect
. Striking a balance is the most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
factor in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
our friendship
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationship
.
Consequently
, it is
highly
suggested that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
in touch with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
55Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that spending time away from people we care about helps us improve our relationship with them, because being away from these people makes us realize how important they are to us. Other people believe that to improve our relationships w v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
500 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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