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Crime is a big problem in the world many believe that nothing can be done to prevent it To what extent do you agree or disagree Give your own opinion v.2

Crime is a big problem in the world many believe that nothing can be done to prevent it Give your own opinion v. 2
Undoubtedly, numerous tv shows and computer games have provided a comfortable platform for child' s recreational activities. However, some nude tv shows and violence-related games have adverse ramifications on children to make them more aggressive and unsocial. this essay would discuss the detrimental impact of such activities, along with effective solutions. First and foremost, violent tv programmes and video games can trigger children to adopt bad behaviour and make them more aggressive. this is because these games and shows are mostly related to crime, war, murder and so on. . Also, as children do not have the capacity to distinguish between right and wrong, they perceive these demonic activities as good vibes without any hesitation. For instance, it was found by child association in the UK that children who often play violence-related games and watch tv shows of conflicting scenes are more likely to bully others, as well as, show more aggression to their parents. As a result, such games and activities can turn a child into a criminal in their later life, which is even an awful fortune for a country' s development. However, the problem is not insurmountable and several measures can be adopted to curb this issue. Firstly, the government should play an effective role to ban such kinds of games and programmes, that impart inappropriate lessons to the children. For example, in 2018, porn videos and conflicting games like pubg, were banned in Nepal by Nepalese authorities. Secondly, guardians must pay attention to their children' s activities and make sure that their kids do not watch unethical tv shows or play violent games. Instead of letting children waste time on such activities, fruitful action that is not only recreational but also educative should be planned by parents to pass their children' s time. In this way, neither the children would get the opportunity to learn about violence, nor adopt them through games and tv shows. In conclusion, undeniably, today' s kids are tomorrow' s citizens. Therefore, it is a prime responsibility of parents and government to keep conflict-related games, programmes, and activities, from children, at bay.
Undoubtedly
, numerous
Possible spelling mistake found.
tv


This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
and
computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
have provided a comfortable platform for
Possible spelling mistake found.
child&
#039; s recreational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
nude
Possible spelling mistake found.
tv


This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
and
violence-related
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
have adverse ramifications on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them more aggressive and unsocial.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
this
essay would discuss the detrimental impact of such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
, along with effective solutions.

First
and foremost, violent
Possible spelling mistake found.
tv
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
and video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
can trigger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to adopt
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them more aggressive.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
this
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
and


This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
are
mostly
related to crime, war, murder and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Also
, as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
do not have the capacity to distinguish between right and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
, they perceive these demonic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
vibes without any hesitation.
For instance
, it
was found
by child association in the UK that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
play violence-related
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
tv


This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows


of conflicting scenes are more likely to bully others,
as well
as,

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
more
aggression to their parents.
As a result
, such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
can turn a child into a criminal in their later life, which is even an awful fortune for a
Possible spelling mistake found.
country&
#039; s development.

However
, the problem is not insurmountable and several measures can
be adopted
to curb this issue.
Firstly
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should play an effective role to ban such kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
and
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
, that impart inappropriate lessons to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
For example
, in 2018, porn videos and conflicting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
like
Possible spelling mistake found.
pubg
,
were banned
in Nepal by Nepalese authorities.
Secondly
, guardians
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
pay attention to their
Possible spelling mistake found.
children&
#039; s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure that their kids do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
unethical
Possible spelling mistake found.
tv


This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
or
play violent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
.
Instead
of letting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
waste time on such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
, fruitful action
that is
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
recreational
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
educative should
be planned
by parents to pass their
Possible spelling mistake found.
children&
#039; s time. In this way, neither the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the opportunity to learn about violence, nor adopt them through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
and
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
tv


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
shows
.

In conclusion
,
undeniably
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
today&
#039; s kids are
Possible spelling mistake found.
tomorrow&
#039; s citizens.
Therefore
, it is a prime responsibility of parents and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
conflict-related
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
,
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
, from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, at bay.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
28Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
27Mistakes
We should learn languages because language is the only thing worth knowing even poorly.
Kató Lomb

IELTS essay Crime is a big problem in the world many believe that nothing can be done to prevent it Give your own opinion v. 2

Essay
  American English
17 paragraphs
350 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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