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Some people believe that spending time away from people we care about helps us improve our relationship with them, because being away from these people makes us realize how important they are to us. Other people believe that to improve our relationships w v.1

Some people believe that spending time away from people we care about helps us improve our relationship with them, because being away from these people makes us realize how important they are to us. Other people believe that to improve our relationships w v. 1
"Nowadays, many people from the countrysides (rural areas) are tending to relocate to the downtown for study and work. While it is argued that the merits of this phenomenon outweigh the drawbacks, I believe that the social effects such as accommodation problem, traffic congestion, and urban quality of life are broad and far-reaching in long-term. It should be noted that commuting behaviour is affected by the location of both workplace and residence. For example, the span between the buildings and the city centres can be considered as a proxy for accessibility, together with the density of population and jobs nearby. Whilst workplace locations are determined by the policies as urban development, the choice of residential location is affected by different political and economic factors. Then the urban population has been increasing as a consequence of accessing better income and higher education. However, choosing the housing areas near the workplace and the college is not always possible. It results in the need for people to frequently travel across the city. When the public transportation is not always an ideal choice, mass private motorisation contributed to widespread traffic congestion and increased pollution in urban areas. Planners observed the bottleneck and began major road and highway expansions, thus increasing the urban footprint that leads to the transport problem be more aggravation. They changed the approach by introducing the employment decentralisation policies. Then traffic congestion and pollution have been reduced significantly thanks to the reduction in the commuting distance and the observed increases in walking, bicycling and public transport usage. Overall, relocating to the downtown promises better job opportunities and educational conditions, but has a great impact to the society due to the imbalance in urban development. Hence, policy initiatives that seek to reduce commuting or private car usage needs to be focussed on multiple areas in terms of relocating workplaces and homes, together with a suite of policies affecting the costs or travel times of different transport modes. "
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
Nowadays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from the countrysides (rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas)
are tending to relocate to the downtown for study and work. While it
is argued
that the merits of this phenomenon outweigh the drawbacks, I believe that the social effects such as accommodation problem, traffic congestion, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
quality of life are broad and far-reaching in long-term.

It should
be noted
that commuting
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by the location of both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workplace
and residence.
For example
, the span between the buildings and the city
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
can
be considered
as a proxy for accessibility, together with the density of population and jobs nearby. Whilst
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workplace
locations
are determined
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
policies
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
development, the choice of residential location is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
political and economic factors. Then the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
population has been increasing as a consequence of accessing better income and higher education.

However
, choosing the housing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
near the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workplace
and the college is not always possible. It results in the need for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
frequently
travel across the city. When the public transportation is not always an ideal choice, mass private
Possible spelling mistake. 'motorisation' is British English.
motorisation
contributed to widespread traffic congestion and increased pollution in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
. Planners observed the bottleneck and began major road and highway expansions,
thus
increasing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
footprint that leads to the transport problem be more aggravation. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
the approach by introducing the employment
Possible spelling mistake. 'decentralisation' is British English.
decentralisation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
policies
. Then traffic congestion and pollution have been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
significantly
thanks to the reduction in the commuting distance and the observed increases in walking, bicycling and public transport usage.

Overall
, relocating to the downtown promises better job opportunities and educational conditions,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
has a great impact to the society due to the imbalance in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
development.
Hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
policy
initiatives that seek to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
commuting or private car usage needs to
be focussed
on multiple
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
in terms of relocating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workplaces
and homes, together with a suite of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
policies
affecting the costs or travel times of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
transport modes.
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that spending time away from people we care about helps us improve our relationship with them, because being away from these people makes us realize how important they are to us. Other people believe that to improve our relationships w v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
325 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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