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Some people think it is more fun to spend time with friends in restaurants or cafés. Others think it is more fun to spend time with friends at home. Which do you thinkis better? Explain why. v.1

Some people think it is more fun to spend time with friends in restaurants or cafés. Others think it is more fun to spend time with friends at home. Which do you thinkis better? Explain why. v. 1
It is often thought by some people that children are given an ample amount of free time and they believe that this time ought to be utilized for doing more school work. I do not agree with this view. To begin with, I think children ought spend their free time playing games and other physical activities. This is because they spend at least 6 to 8 hours at school and are given too much homework after school hours and they also need to stay fit and healthy throughout the year in order to study and obtain good grades. To illustrate, recent studies conducted by the National Education Organisation revealed that children spending their free time on physical activities along with school work acquired high grades compared to those spending all their time on school work. Moreover, when they participate in games with other children at the playground, they get to meet different people with whom they can make friends and be stress-free. If children had to do school work in their free time, they would miss some crucial opportunities like making friends with other people and being healthy. There are other essential activities such as yoga, and other essential classes which must be imparted to children. The reason for this is that these activities enable them to gain knowledge in general knowledge which is a must in today's world. For instance, many studies disclose that children are likely to obtain vital knowledge when they are engaged in playing games and participating in other physical activities. If children allocate their free time on physical games and other activities. If children allocate their free time on physical games and other activities, they will definitely attain high grades and will be able to socialize with others later in their lives. In conclusion, even though children spending all of their time on school work can enjoy some benefits, in my opinion, they can stay healthy and secure good grades and develop their communication skills with others in their lives if they spend their free time on physical games and other activities.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
an ample amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
time and
they believe that this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
ought to
be utilized
for doing more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. I do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this view.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
Did you mean "ought to spend"?
ought spend
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they spend at least 6 to 8 hours at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
and are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
too much homework after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
hours and
they
also
need to stay fit and healthy throughout the year in order to study and obtain
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grades
. To illustrate, recent studies conducted by the National Education
Possible spelling mistake. 'Organisation' is British English.
Organisation
revealed that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
spending their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
along with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
acquired high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grades
compared to those spending all their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
Moreover
, when they participate in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
at the playground, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
with whom they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
friends and be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
-free. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
had to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, they would miss
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
crucial opportunities like making friends with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and being healthy.

There are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
essential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
such as yoga, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
essential classes which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be imparted
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
The reason for this is
that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
enable them to gain knowledge
in general
knowledge which is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's world.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
studies disclose that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are likely to obtain vital knowledge when they
are engaged
in playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
and participating in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
allocate their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
allocate their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
, they will definitely attain high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grades
and will be able to socialize with others later in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

In conclusion
,
even though
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
spending all of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
can enjoy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
benefits, in my opinion, they can stay healthy and secure
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grades
and develop their communication
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
with others in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
if they spend their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think it is more fun to spend time with friends in restaurants or cafés. Others think it is more fun to spend time with friends at home. Which do you thinkis better? Explain why. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
347 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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