Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some animal species are becoming extinct due to human activities on land and in the sea. What are the reason? What solution to solve them? v.1

Some animal species are becoming extinct due to human activities on land and in the sea. What are the reason? What solution to solve them? v. 1
The process of buying goods over the internet is known as online shopping. The online shopping is not only provides goods or services at home, but also save much time. Therefore, I strongly agree that the benefits of online shopping are more significant than its drawbacks. (47) We had seen in the past that people always moved to markets to buy all the products they needed. In many parts of the world, people even had to travel long distances to purchase the required goods. Thus, purchasing was a big challenge for people in the past. (48) Presently, the trend of online shopping is spreading all over the world as it is providing a number of benefits to people. For example, it allows consumers to browse for products and check their prices. In this way, customers are facilitated to buy what they like after taking prices, sizes and models into consideration. Moreover, buying things on the Internet helps people in saving their valuable time and money. Thus, online purchasing is a wise choice for those who are much busy in their daily work or study as it doesn't require them to go to the stores. (97) The recent development in Information Technology has now enabled the customers to buy any product just with a single click of the mouse. The goods they bought have surely delivered at their homes as soon as possible. Thus, if the popularity of online shopping keeps in motion then it will surely emerge as the most reliable way of purchasing goods in the near future. (63) Thus, I strongly believed that online shopping is one of the great innovations of people doing transaction as it reduces time and provides more options. (24)
The process of buying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
over the internet
is known
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
provides
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
or services at home,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
save much time.
Therefore
, I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that the benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
are more significant than its drawbacks. (47)

We had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in the past that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moved
to markets to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
all the products they needed. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
parts of the world,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
even had to travel long distances to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
the required
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Thus
, purchasing was a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
challenge for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the past. (48)

Presently
, the trend of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
is spreading all over the world as it is providing a number of benefits to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
For example
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
consumers to browse for products and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
their prices. In this way, customers
are facilitated
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
what they like after taking prices, sizes and models into consideration.
Moreover
, buying things on the Internet
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in saving their valuable time and money.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
purchasing is a wise choice for those who are much busy in their daily work or study as it doesn't require them to go to the stores. (97)

The recent development in Information Technology has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
enabled the customers to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
any product
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
with a single click of the mouse. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
have
surely
delivered at their homes as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as possible.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Thus
, if the popularity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
in motion then it will
surely
emerge as the most reliable way of purchasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
in the near future. (63)

Thus
, I
strongly
believed that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
is one of the great innovations of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
doing transaction as it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
time and provides more options. (24)
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Learning is a treasure that will follow its owner everywhere.
Chinese Proverb

IELTS essay Some animal species are becoming extinct due to human activities on land and in the sea. What are the reason? What solution to solve them? v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
285 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts