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Is it better to enjoy your money when you earn it or it is better to save for some time in the future? v.1

Is it better to enjoy your money when you earn it or it is better to save for some time in the future? v. 1
In recent decades, many governments have considerable expenditure on the improvement of citizens’ lifestyle. Although some argue that medical treatments for ill people are much more important, the preventive measures have proved their sake in the long run. There are many reasons why changes in people’s lifestyle have more long-term benefits. Firstly, the provision of public infrastructure helps citizens enhance their health, which leads to the effects on a large scale. For example, in a family, if parents have a healthy lifestyle, they will have a naturally positive impact on their children on a daily basis. Secondly, creating a balanced lifestyle brings people good health conditions, which help them have sufficient energy and enthusiasm to work and study. In fact, the health of each person that results in the power of a nation’s workforce, especially the younger generations, which is a vital factor in the development of its economy. On the other hands, the method of providing treatments for patients also proves some certain drawbacks. The one thing is as ailments are not temporary problems, the efforts that have gone into curing them may not take the root of these problems. The fact is that ailments result from the long process of accumulation through daily habits, so the most effective method is changing these habits gradually. Another thing is the expenditure of upgrading the whole of the medical system is an enormous number with any governments. Therefore, this isn’t really the best choice in this situation, compared with the expense of preventive methods. In conclusion, it is true that enhancing people’s lifestyle brings more benefits instead of focusing on curing more and more patients in the long term. The governments should consider spending more and more budget in health infrastructure so as to improve the medical conditions of the public.
In recent decades,
many
governments
have considerable expenditure on the improvement of citizens’
lifestyle
. Although
some
argue that medical treatments for ill
people
are much more
important
, the preventive measures have proved their sake in the long run.

There are
many
reasons why
changes
in
people’s
lifestyle
have more long-term benefits.
Firstly
, the provision of public infrastructure
helps
citizens enhance their
health
, which leads to the effects on a large scale.
For example
, in a family, if parents have a healthy
lifestyle
, they will have a
naturally
positive
impact on their children on a daily basis.
Secondly
, creating a balanced
lifestyle
brings
people
good
health
conditions, which
help
them have sufficient energy and enthusiasm to work and study. In fact, the
health
of each person that results in the power of a nation’s workforce,
especially
the younger generations, which is a vital factor in the development of its economy.

On the other hands, the method of providing treatments for patients
also
proves
some
certain drawbacks.

The one thing is as ailments are not temporary problems, the efforts that have gone into curing them may not take the root of these problems. The fact is that ailments result from the long process of accumulation through daily habits,
so
the most effective method is changing these habits
gradually
. Another thing is the expenditure of upgrading the whole of the medical system is an enormous number with any
governments
.
Therefore
, this isn’t
really
the best choice in this situation, compared with the expense of preventive methods.

In conclusion
, it is true that enhancing
people’s
lifestyle
brings more benefits
instead
of focusing on curing more and more patients in the long term. The
governments
should consider spending more and more budget in
health
infrastructure
so as to
improve
the medical conditions of the public.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Is it better to enjoy your money when you earn it or it is better to save for some time in the future? v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
300 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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