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some people believe that software programming should be tacht at primary school others think that the focus at this level should be on playing both views opinion v.2

some people believe that software programming should be tacht at primary school others think that the focus at this level should be on playing both views opinion v. 2
Nowadays almost every curriculum is differ through various countries at educational institutions. While many people believe that it is better to include studying computer technology at elementary schools, others tend to think that the most important focus should be given to playing. This essay will discuss why teaching software programming has its benefits at such level, but why playing for young pupils is ultimately superior. Teaching children significant skills for software developing is certainly an efficient way to increase their knowledge. Students will receive the ability to think critical and be aware of more things, which may even has an influence on their future career choise. To give an example, while some pupils at primary academies in Ukraine have already been studying informatics for many years and are now broad-minded, those, who did not gain such knowledge earlier face more difficulties in learing mathematics and other sciences. Overall, by learning such subject at the earliest years can definitely make one more intelligent and broad-minded in the future. Meanwhile, focusing on playing at this level is favoured by also many people, because it will gain children more essential skills for their current ages. If one did not receive important the simplest soft skills and did not understand how to communicate and behave with others, in the future there would be a possibility that he will be an introvert and self-enclosed or even an aggressive person. This is why it is one of the most important thing that both teachers and parents should do - encourage young generation to play with each other. For instance, new project in Ukraine not only force all primary schools teach simple three R' s, but also the government provided with various playgrounds and toys to educational facilities. Therefore, it goes without saying, that this type of studying gives more essential abilities for students. To sum up, in our fast paced world there are more and more diverse subjects which are enclosed to curriculums. This essay discussed why studying at primary educational facilities software programming can be an extremely efficient way of increasing the overall knowledge, but why focusing on playing is an essential level in developing soft skills. In my point of view, various plays with other children at this level offer superior benefits.
Nowadays almost every curriculum is
Consider using a past participle here: "differed".
differ
through various countries at educational institutions. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that it is better to include
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
computer technology at elementary schools, others tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
focus should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
. This essay will discuss why teaching software programming has its benefits at such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
for young pupils is
ultimately
superior.

Teaching children significant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
for software developing is
certainly
an efficient way to increase their knowledge. Students will receive the ability to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
critical and be aware of more things, which may even has an influence on their future career
Possible spelling mistake found.
choise
. To give an example, while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
pupils at primary academies in Ukraine have already been
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
informatics for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
years and are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
broad-minded, those, who did not gain such knowledge earlier face more difficulties in
Possible spelling mistake found.
learing
mathematics and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
sciences.
Overall
, by learning such subject at the earliest years can definitely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
one more intelligent and broad-minded in the future.

Meanwhile, focusing on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
at this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
is
Possible spelling mistake. 'favoured' is British English.
favoured
by
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it will gain children more essential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
ages. If one did not receive
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
the simplest soft
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
and did not understand how to communicate and behave with others, in the future there would be a possibility that he will be an introvert and self-enclosed or even an aggressive person. This is why it is one of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
thing that both teachers and parents should do
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
encourage young generation to play with each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
.
For instance
, new project in Ukraine not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
force all primary schools teach simple three
Possible spelling mistake found.
R&
#039; s,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
provided with various playgrounds and toys to educational facilities.
Therefore
, it goes without saying, that this type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
gives more essential abilities for students.

To sum up, in our
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
paced world there are more and more diverse subjects which
are enclosed
to curriculums. This essay discussed why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
at primary educational
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "facilities'" or "facility's"?
facilities
software programming can be an
extremely
efficient way of increasing the
overall
knowledge,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
why focusing on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
is an essential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
in developing soft
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
. In my point of view, various plays with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
children at this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
offer superior benefits.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
To have another language is to possess a second soul.
Charlemagne

IELTS essay some people believe that software programming should be tacht at primary school others think that the focus at this level should be on playing both views opinion v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
378 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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