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Schools should teach children the academic subjects which have a close relationship with their future careers, so other subjects like music and sports are not important. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that schools should only teach children subjects which are beneficial to their future career and therefore other subjects such as music and sports are not important. v. 2
It is assumed that, children should be taught solely academic subjects that could be useful in the long run working progress, which leads extra-cirricular activities to be removed. This essay completely disagrees with aforementioned viewpoint and states that not all children were born to be academics or professors in special subjects and they might have an innate talent for other extra subjects such as music and sports. First and foremost, every child looks at his/her future job from different perspectives and most of them tend to choose occupations related to the atmosphere that he/she grew in. This means that, even if the school considers academic subjects as crucial and utilizes them on school curriculum, this might not disorientate children from their own choices. Let's take a school boy, who grew up in the atmosphere of mind sport like chess, as an example. The house, which boy lives in, filled with chess books and pictures of famous chess players. This proves that this boy might be a chess player even though he is being taugh academic subjects at school. Secondly, talent plays a supreme role when a child is choosing his/her future job. Subsequently, it might be better to stimulate an innate talent of a child rather than underscore him/her to the field that takes a long time to adapt. To sum up, even though the academic subjects are proven to imrove students' academic achievements, enhancing their potential for progression to further or higher education and job, extra-cirricular activities like arts and sports might have a great benefit for child's future job fulfillment according to their interests.
It
is assumed
that, children should
be taught
solely
academic
subjects
that could be useful in the long run
working progress
, which leads
extra-cirricular
activities to
be removed
. This essay completely disagrees with aforementioned viewpoint and states that not all children
were born
to be
academics
or professors in special
subjects and
they
might
have an innate talent for other extra
subjects
such as music and sports.

First
and foremost, every child looks at his/her future
job
from
different
perspectives and most of them tend to choose occupations related to the atmosphere that he/she grew in. This means that, even if the school considers
academic
subjects
as crucial and utilizes them on school curriculum, this
might
not disorientate children from their
own
choices.
Let
's take a school boy, who grew up in the atmosphere of mind sport like chess, as an example. The
house
, which boy
lives
in, filled with chess books and pictures of
famous
chess players. This proves that this boy
might
be a chess player
even though
he is being
taugh
academic
subjects
at school.

Secondly
, talent plays a supreme role when a child is choosing his/her future
job
.
Subsequently
, it
might
be better to stimulate an innate talent of a child
rather
than underscore him/her to the field that takes a long time to adapt.

To sum up,
even though
the
academic
subjects
are proven
to
imrove
students'
academic
achievements, enhancing their potential for progression to
further
or higher education and
job
,
extra-cirricular
activities like arts and sports
might
have a great benefit for child's future
job
fulfillment according to their interests.
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IELTS essay Schools should teach children the academic subjects which have a close relationship with their future careers, so other subjects like music and sports are not important.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
266 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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