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Some people believe that there should be fixed punishments for each type of crime. Others, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and the motivation for committing it, should always be taken into account when deciding on the punishment. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.10

Some people believe that there should be fixed punishments for each type of crime. Others, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and the motivation for committing it, should always be taken into account when deciding on the punishment. v. 10
Penalties applied to criminals are essentially the judges´ responsibility and, therefore, it is thought by many, that the motive and the individual circumstance of a crime should be considered thoroughly by them before making the final sentence. I think, oppositely, that every criminal punishment should be fixed for each different type of crime regardless of their context and in this essay I will explain why. On the one hand, those who support taking into account the circumstances of an individual crime, argue that in this way, more fair punishments can be given. Different motivations may deserve different length of time in jail, for example, assaulting for fun or to make harm must have a larger condemn than a person that assaults to feed his or her children, in which manner could be released and offered to do community work to pay for their mistake instead. On the other hand, many others, consider that punishing in a fixed and strict way makes the community follow the rules. Jail, for instance, is an effective deterrent for people committing a crime. Nobody wants to go to prison, take, for example, in Argentina, since the introduction of fixed punishments, the percentage of crime has been reduced to half because people know what serious consequences have to break the law. In conclusion, whereas many think individual reasons to commit a crime and its social context should be considered to decide the punishment given, I believe fixed and strict penalties must be applied. In this manner, not only the amount of felonies will be reduced, but also the criminals will have the proper and deserved punishment for breaking the laws.
Penalties applied to criminals are
essentially
the judges´ responsibility and,
therefore
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
, that the motive and the individual circumstance of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
should
be considered
thoroughly
by them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
making the final sentence. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
,
oppositely
, that every criminal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
should be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fixed
for each
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
regardless of their context and in this essay I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
why.

On the one hand, those who support taking into account the circumstances of an individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
, argue that in this way, more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishments
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Different
motivations may deserve
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
length of time in jail,
for example
, assaulting for fun or to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
harm
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
have a larger condemn than a person that assaults to feed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
children, in which manner could
be released
and offered to do community work to pay for their mistake
instead
.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
others, consider that punishing in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fixed
and strict way
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the community follow the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
. Jail,
for instance
, is an effective deterrent for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
committing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
. Nobody wants to go to prison, take,
for example
, in Argentina, since the introduction of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fixed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishments
, the percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
has been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
to half
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
know what serious consequences
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
break the law.

In conclusion
, whereas
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
individual reasons to commit a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
and its social context should
be considered
to decide the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
, I believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fixed
and strict penalties
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be applied
. In this manner, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the amount of felonies will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
the criminals will have the proper and deserved
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
for breaking the laws.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that there should be fixed punishments for each type of crime. Others, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and the motivation for committing it, should always be taken into account when deciding on the punishment. v. 10

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
274 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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