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Some people believe that schoolchildren should not be given homework by their teachers, whereas others argue that homework plays an important role in the education of children. Discuss both of these views and give your own opinion. v.2

Some people believe that schoolchildren should not be given homework by their teachers, whereas others argue that homework plays an important role in the education of children. v. 2
In this modern era of globalisation, education plays a significant role in an individual’s life. It acts as a foundation for the child’s future. some people opine that a child should not be burdened with extra homework while some believe that extra work can be beneficial for their education. However, I am in favour of the latter viewpoint. Firstly, homework can have many benefits. It can inculcate good habits in a child and can make the child more disciplined towards his studies. This method can develop a sense of responsibility within a juvenile by doing the assignment by himself at home. Children are forced to work away from the environment of the school in order to get a sense of individuality. Secondly, it can improve the time management skills in a child that helps them to tackle the challenges, later in their life when they have to meet the deadlines in the corporate world. On the other hand, when children are not given projects to complete at home, they can indulge in extra-curricular activities like sports, drawing or anything constructive of their interest. These activities can help them to be physically and mentally fit. Moreover, after studying for long hours in school, children may need some time to relax and rejuvenate themselves so that they can start the next day refresh and can able to concentrate better. To conclude, I would say that some amount of extra work is necessary for a child to understand and memorize work that has been done at school. Also, they will take their studies seriously or else, they will feel burdened at the time of examination.
In this modern era of
Possible spelling mistake. 'globalisation' is British English.
globalisation
, education plays a significant role in an individual’s life. It acts as a foundation for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child’s
future.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
opine that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
should not
be burdened
with extra homework while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
believe that extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
can be beneficial for their education.
However
, I am in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
the
latter viewpoint.

Firstly
, homework can have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits. It can inculcate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
habits in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
and can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
more disciplined towards his studies. This method can develop a sense of responsibility within a juvenile by doing the assignment by himself at home. Children
are forced
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
away from the environment of the school in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a sense of individuality.
Secondly
, it can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the time management
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
to
tackle the challenges, later in their life when they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the deadlines in the corporate world.

On the other hand
, when children are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
projects to complete at home, they can indulge in extra-curricular activities like sports, drawing or anything constructive of their interest. These activities can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to be
physically
and mentally fit.
Moreover
, after studying for long hours in school, children may need
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
time to relax and rejuvenate themselves
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
the
next
day refresh and
Please check whether one of these words is redundant.
can able to
concentrate better.

To conclude
, I would say that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
amount of extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
is necessary for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
to understand and memorize
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
that has
been done
at school.
Also
, they will take their studies
seriously
or else, they will feel burdened at the time of examination.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
10Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes
Do you know what a foreign accent is? It’s a sign of bravery.
Amy Chua

IELTS essay Some people believe that schoolchildren should not be given homework by their teachers, whereas others argue that homework plays an important role in the education of children. v. 2

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
272 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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