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Some people believe that schoolchildren should not be given homework by their teachers, whereas others argue that homework plays an important role in the education of children. Discuss both of these views and give your own opinion. v.1

Some people believe that schoolchildren should not be given homework by their teachers, whereas others argue that homework plays an important role in the education of children. v. 1
Nowadays, the number of students who prefer to study abroad have gone up increasingly because of the fact that they believe that they can reach great amount of sources and they can meet different cultures or local people. This situation has a remarkable advantage. However, it has a drawback should be taken into account. Studying abroad offers students to develop their academic knowledge and their perspective against cultures in the world, although it brings about the waste of students' money. In my opinion, students should be confident about studying abroad at least one semester in order to benefit from the facilities which are offered by different countries. A significant advantage of studying abroad is that it leads to students to learn new cultures and people in foreign countries where they go. While they go to the foreign country for their academic career, they must meet new friends in courses or schools. Moreover, they will experience the conversation with a lot of people such as teachers, bakers or marketer in daily life due to their daily schedules. For example, if one student goes to the abroad to study during the semester, s/he have to communicate with foreign people because of the fact that they must meet his/her classmates or roommates. Therefore, studying abroad provides the chance in developing our perspectives about the people in the world. On the other hand, when it comes to the drawback of studying abroad, it is well-known fact that it may cause particular financial problems for students. The majority of students and their families are suffering from economic instability. For instance, many students and families cannot afford their basic needs. In my contention, in undeveloped countries, studying abroad is not better than harm due to economic inequality. In conclusion, all around the world, students tend to study abroad for their career. Studying abroad has a vital advantage and a disadvantage. It offers learn foreign cultures and languages. However, it causes the difficulties in students' budgets. In my perspective, students should think deeply and they should pick one which is appropriate to their life.
Nowadays, the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who prefer to study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
have gone up
increasingly
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "because".
because of the fact that
they believe that they can reach great amount of
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
sources and
they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
or local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. This situation has a remarkable advantage.
However
, it has a drawback should
be taken
into account.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
offers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to develop their academic knowledge and their perspective against
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
in the world, although it brings about the waste of students' money. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should be confident about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
at least one semester in order to benefit from the facilities which
are offered
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries.

A significant advantage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
is that it leads to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to learn new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
countries where they go. While they go to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
country for their academic career, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
new friends in courses or schools.
Moreover
, they will experience the conversation with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
such as teachers, bakers or marketer in daily life due to their daily schedules.
For example
, if one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
goes to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
to study during the semester, s/he
The pronoun 'he' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "has", "had".
have
to communicate with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "because".
because of the fact that
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
his/her classmates or roommates.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
provides the chance in developing our
The usual preposition for "perspectives" is "on" not "about." Revise: "perspectives on".
perspectives about
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the world.

On the other hand
, when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to the drawback of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
, it is well-known fact that it may cause particular financial problems for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. The majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
and their families are suffering from economic instability.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
and families cannot afford their basic needs. In my contention, in undeveloped countries,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
is not better than harm due to economic inequality.

In conclusion
, all around the world,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
tend to study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
for their career.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
has a vital advantage and a disadvantage. It offers learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
and languages.
However
, it causes the difficulties in students' budgets. In my perspective,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
deeply and
they should pick one which is appropriate to their life.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that schoolchildren should not be given homework by their teachers, whereas others argue that homework plays an important role in the education of children. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
347 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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