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“Both men and women care more about their appearance today than they did in the past. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? ”Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Wri v.2

“Both men and women care more about their appearance today than they did in the past. with this statement? ” Wri v. 2
Generally, people are more fashion-conscious these days. Economy has become stronger and wider, in comparison with past time, which provides more freedom to people to do what they want. Nowadays they have much more possibilities to be in trend and build their own fashion style. On the face of it, a negative wind is also there. However, I would appreciate former opinion. One reason for this is that these day, men and women feel they have to look good too. In fact, the majority of them believe that image and clothes are really important to give some information about habits, lifestyle or personality. Overall, a good look could influent on career or a personal life, because the first view about individuals is making by estimating appearance. For examples, if person well-dressed it makes them attractive and expresses a good impression on others. Yet another reason for this trend is the coming up of new brands. Nowadays the brands play a relevant role in the society. In fact, the brands are really important as well as the good look because it give also information about social background. Especially among young people, the brand represents a fundamental requirement to be part of a group. Furthermore, fashion changes quickly, and this is one of the reasons why people buy clothes every season, even if they don’t’ have really need. In conclusion, shopping and estimating appearance help people in the work relationship or for the young people, help them to be part a group.
Generally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are more fashion-conscious these days. Economy has become stronger and wider,
in comparison
with
Did you mean "pastime"?
past time
, which provides more freedom to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to do what they want. Nowadays they have much more possibilities to be in trend and build their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
fashion style. On the face of it, a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
wind is
also
there.
However
, I would appreciate former opinion.

One reason for this is that
Did you mean "this day" or "these days"?
these day
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and women feel they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
look
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
too. In fact, the majority of them believe that image and clothes are
really
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to give
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
information about habits, lifestyle or personality.
Overall
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
look could
Possible spelling mistake found.
influent
on career or a personal life,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
first
view about individuals is making by estimating appearance. For examples, if person well-dressed it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them attractive and expresses a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
impression on others.

Yet
another reason for this trend is the coming up of new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brands
. Nowadays the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brands
play a relevant role in the society. In fact, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brands
are
really
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
as well
as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
look
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
Did you mean "gives"?
give
also
information about social background.
Especially
among young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brand
represents a fundamental requirement to be part of a group.
Furthermore
, fashion
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
quickly
, and this is one of the reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
clothes every season, even if they don’t’ have
really
Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: "needed".
need
.

In conclusion
, shopping and estimating appearance
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the work relationship or for the young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to be part a group.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay “Both men and women care more about their appearance today than they did in the past. with this statement? ” Wri v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
250 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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