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The diagram below shows the stages and equipment used in the cement-making process, and how cement is used to produce concrete for building purposes. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant v.5

The diagram below shows the stages and equipment used in the cement-making process, and how cement is used to produce concrete for building purposes.
The diagrams illustrate the way in which cement is made and how it is used create a concrete production. Overall, this man-made process consists of five stages to make cement, beginning with putting limestone and clay in the crusher and ending up with packaging cement into bags. This cement, with other elements, is ready to be mixed to begin a concrete production. [62 WORDS] First of all, limestone and clay are put into crusher together, where they are reduced as powder. After that, the powder is placed into mixer automatically, and next it passes into rotating heater, where is given heat from outside. In the subsequent stage, it is pressed by a grinder, and following that the result is cement. In the last passage the cement is divided into several bags. [129 WORDS] Finally, the cement, about 15% with the addition of other elements, in particular percentage, like a quarter of sand, an half of gravel, and the rest of water, is ready to mix to achieve the concrete production. [166 WORDS]
The diagrams illustrate the way in which
cement
is made
and how it is
used
create a concrete production.
Overall
, this
man
-made process consists of five stages to
make
cement
, beginning with putting limestone and clay in the crusher and ending up with packaging
cement
into bags. This
cement
, with other elements, is ready to
be mixed
to
begin
a concrete production. [62 WORDS]

First of all
, limestone and clay
are put
into crusher together, where they are
reduced
as powder. After that, the powder
is placed
into mixer
automatically
, and
next
it passes into rotating heater, where is
given
heat from outside. In the subsequent stage, it
is pressed
by a grinder, and following that the result is
cement
. In the last passage the
cement
is divided
into several bags. [129 WORDS]

Finally
, the
cement
, about 15% with the addition of other elements,
in particular
percentage, like a quarter of sand,
an
half of gravel, and the rest of water, is ready to mix to achieve the concrete production. [166 WORDS]
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
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IELTS essay The diagram below shows the stages and equipment used in the cement-making process, and how cement is used to produce concrete for building purposes.

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
171 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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