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Some people believe that school children should not be given homework by their teachers, whereas others argue that homework plays an important role in the education of children. Discuss both of these views and give your opinion. v.11

Some people believe that school children should not be given homework by their teachers, whereas others argue that homework plays an important role in the education of children. v. 11
Educators often decide whether or not to give homework to their students. In recent years, people believe that homework should not be given whilst others argue that it has a major role in their future education. Both views will be discussed before an opinion is reached. One of the main reasons why parents believe that homework should not be given is due to time. Many believe that instead of spending time on work that could have been done in school children this time could be better spent to broaden their horizons. This could be doing activities such as learning a new instrument or language. Many students do not take up these extra activities as they feel they do not have enough time. However by taking up an extra activity a child will be able to gain a more holistic education which is essential for the future. Arguably, homework can be justified as a means of revision for students. As a child’s mind is still developing, reviewing the work done at school encourages them to remember and review what they have learned at school. For example, students who do not do homework have a harder time remembering what they learned compared to students who have completed the work set by their teachers. Furthermore, the extra work they have at home allows them to develop skills such as self studying and problem solving which is highly needed in the future. In conclusion, although the time used for homework could be used for something else it is an important factor in helping the child review and grow as a person. Therefore I believe that homework is major contributor in the education of a child.
Educators
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
decide
Consider shortening this phrase to just "whether". It is correct though if you mean 'regardless of whether'.
whether or not
to give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homework
to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. In recent years,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homework
should not be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
whilst others argue that it has a major role in their future education. Both views will
be discussed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
an opinion
is reached
.

One of the main reasons why parents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homework
should not be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
is due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that
instead
of spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
that could have
been done
in school children this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
could be better spent to broaden their horizons. This could be doing activities such as learning a new instrument or language.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
do not take up these extra activities as they feel they do not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
by taking up an extra activity a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
will be able to gain a more holistic education which is essential for the future.

Arguably
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homework
can
be justified
as a means of revision for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. As a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child’s
mind is
still
developing, reviewing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
done at school encourages them to remember and review what they have learned at school.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who do not do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homework
have a harder
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
remembering what they learned compared to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who have completed the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
set by their teachers.
Furthermore
, the extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
they have at home
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
them to develop
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
such as self studying and problem solving which is
highly
needed in the future.

In conclusion
, although the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homework
could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for something else it is an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
factor in helping the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
review and grow as a person.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homework
is major contributor in the education of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
30Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
Change your language and you change your thoughts.
Karl Albrecht

IELTS essay Some people believe that school children should not be given homework by their teachers, whereas others argue that homework plays an important role in the education of children. v. 11

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
281 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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