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Some people believe that reading stories from books better than watching TV or playing computer games for children. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.3

The importance of reading is completely undeniable, which children can be gain the knowledge from reading stories, many people prefer reading from books rather than watching television or playing computer games for their children, this essay will argue the significance of reading books as compared to playing games or watching TV. Reading is the most effective way to learning, vocabulary can be growing rapidly, in order express one’s self and their awareness will be boosted, for instance, when children used to reading, will obtain educational skills overtime, similar to study skills, hence rise their academic progress and score, admittedly reading has incredibly benefits for children, which expands their minds and helps to improve concentration, as well as, will eager their creativity and imagination. meanwhile, others see that learning from watching TV might be useful, by contrast learning from TV shows share inactive way teaching, moreover, playing computer games could be made the children addicted, as revealed by the strong relative relationship between electronic screen media and autism disorder, additionally, it will dwindling their focus abilities for studying and learning at schools, which have directly impacts on their grades of examination. However, children learning from screen media will constrict their communication and limit sociality skills. This essay argued the learning from books is more preferable, in comparison to watching television and playing computer games, I believe that the value of reading books more precious rather than other electronics media, which can be effective way for educating children, further will strengthen our language.
The importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
is completely undeniable, which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can be gain the knowledge from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
stories,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
prefer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
rather
than watching television or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, this essay will argue the significance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
as compared to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
or watching TV.

Reading is the most effective way to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
, vocabulary can be growing
rapidly
, in order express one’s self and their awareness will
be boosted
,
for instance
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
, will obtain educational
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
overtime, similar to study
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
,
hence
rise their academic progress and score,
admittedly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
has
incredibly
benefits for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, which expands their minds and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
concentration,
as well
as, will eager their creativity and imagination.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
meanwhile
, others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
from watching TV might be useful, by contrast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
from TV
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
share inactive way teaching,
moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
could
be made
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
addicted, as revealed by the strong relative relationship between electronic screen media and autism disorder,
additionally
, it will
The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: "dwindle"
dwindling
their focus abilities for studying and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
at schools, which have
directly
impacts on their grades of examination.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
from screen media will constrict their communication and limit
Possible spelling mistake found.
sociality
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.

This essay argued the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
is more preferable,
in comparison
to watching television and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
, I believe that the value of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
more precious
rather
than other electronics media, which can be
Please check whether an article is missing: "a effective".
effective
way for educating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
,
further
will strengthen our language.
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With languages, you are at home anywhere.
Edward De Waal

IELTS essay some people believe that reading stories from a book is better than watching TV or playing computer games for children.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
251 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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