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Some people believe that reading stories from books better than watching TV or playing computer games for children. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

Some people believe that reading stories from books better than watching TV or playing computer games for children. v. 1
There are beliefs that spending a day with a book and you are an intellectual, but spend a day watching television or playing computer games and you become a couch potato. From my perspective, this is a real fact that books are superior to televisions and video games. Various reasons can be put forward to elaborate why children should prefer books, and one of the most preponderant ones is that reading requires intellectual endeavours, even if it is a comic book, and television is lowbrow entertainment geared toward the lowest common denominator. More precisely, when we read a book, we have to use our imagination, creativity and critical thinking in order to understand the content more efficiently and deeply. According to Japan’s research, such experiences barely happen when children watch televisions. For instance, children can easily absorb and understand Aladdin’s stories quickly by one hour movie; however, if they read this story in the book or the comic book, there are no limits to imaginative thinking. Therefore, their mental skills will be sharpened, and they can even understand the metaphorical meaning behind the stories. Apart from sharping mental skills for children, Japanese research has proven that children can gain both productive and receptive skills, by interacting with books. When it comes to long-life learning, electronics devices can only offer a passive method of absorbing information undermines intellectual development. In other words, children only take information instead of interact with them. On the other hand, reading allows the young to assimilate input and build their own vocabulary banks, and this is an effective way of improving written and spoken language proficiency. A clear example can be given is that some children actually read the books out loud, which then improves their pronunciations and fluency. These processes can never been done by vivid pictures on screen since there are very less chances that viewers can have reactions directly. In conclusion, we really need to be mindful with the adverse impacts growing from digital devices and promote the reading habits among the young generations.
There are beliefs that spending a day with a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
and you are an intellectual,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
spend a day watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
or playing computer games and you become a couch potato. From my perspective, this is a real fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
are superior to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
televisions
and video games.

Various reasons can
be put
forward to elaborate why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should prefer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
, and one of the most preponderant ones is that reading requires intellectual
Possible spelling mistake. 'endeavours' is British English.
endeavours
, even if it is a comic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
is lowbrow entertainment geared toward the lowest common denominator. More
precisely
, when we read a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
, we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
our imagination, creativity and critical thinking in order to understand the content more
efficiently
and
deeply
. According to Japan’s research, such experiences
barely
happen when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
televisions
.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can
easily
absorb and understand Aladdin’s stories
quickly
by one hour movie;
however
, if they read this story in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
or the comic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
, there are no limits to imaginative thinking.
Therefore
, their mental
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
will
be sharpened
, and they can even understand the metaphorical meaning behind the stories.

Apart from sharping mental
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, Japanese research has proven that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can gain both productive and receptive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, by interacting with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
. When it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to long-life learning, electronics devices can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
offer a passive method of absorbing information undermines intellectual development.
In other words
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
take information
instead
of interact with them.
On the other hand
, reading
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
the young to assimilate input and build their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
vocabulary banks, and this is an effective way of improving written and spoken language proficiency. A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
example can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
is that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
actually read the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
out loud, which then
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
their pronunciations and fluency. These processes can never
been done
by vivid pictures on screen since there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun chances is countable.
less
chances that viewers can have reactions
directly
.

In conclusion
, we
really
need to be mindful with the adverse impacts growing from digital devices and promote the reading habits among the young generations.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
Learn a new language and get a new soul.
Czech Proverb

IELTS essay Some people believe that reading stories from books better than watching TV or playing computer games for children. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
341 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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