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Some people believe that reading stories from a book is better than watching TV or playing computer games for children. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.4

Some people believe that reading stories from a book is better than watching TV or playing computer games for children. v. 4
The debate weather books as a source of entertainment is better for children, as opposed to watching TV or playing video games, has become a matter of discussion for many. I completely disagree with this statement, and, in this essay, I shall analyse and present relevant examples to support my view. To begin with, although, at first it might seems like that children do not benefit from the computer games or television, however, there is an ample evidence that suggests otherwise. For example, a recent study conducted at the Stanford University, showed that those children who regularly play the video games, are more likely to develop a superior hands to eyes coordination. In addition, it also improves the regions of their brain responsible for the critical thinking and decision making. Thus, it is clear that, it could prove beneficial for the younger generation to indulge in such activities in their leisure time. Furthermore, it is undeniable, that books are a good way to improve reading and listening skills of the children, but with the growing entertainment technology and so many options to choose from, it is safe to say, that there are more effective ways to develop such skills. Moreover, now as there is an increasing number of the informative and educating channels are available on the television. It is even more easier than before, to choose the correct option. In conclusion, this is a topic which raises many questions in the contemporary life. After thorough analysis of the subject, I am inclined to say that the positive aspects of this development surpass the negative points. In the future, we could expect to witness a notable drift in this direction, which may bring significant changes in the viewpoint of the parents.
The debate weather books as a source of entertainment is better for
children
, as opposed to watching TV or playing video games, has become a matter of discussion for
many
. I completely disagree with this statement, and, in this essay, I shall
analyse
and present relevant examples to support my view.

To
begin
with, although, at
first
it might
seems
like that
children
do not benefit from the computer games or television,
however
, there is an ample evidence that suggests
otherwise
.
For example
, a recent study conducted at the Stanford University,
showed
that those
children
who
regularly
play the video games, are more likely to develop a superior hands to
eyes
coordination.
In addition
, it
also
improves
the regions of their brain responsible for the critical thinking and
decision making
.
Thus
, it is
clear
that, it could prove beneficial for the younger generation to indulge in such activities in their leisure time.

Furthermore
, it is undeniable, that books are a
good
way to
improve
reading and listening
skills
of the
children
,
but
with the growing entertainment technology and
so
many
options to choose from, it is safe to say, that there are more effective ways to develop such
skills
.
Moreover
,
now
as there is an increasing number of the informative and educating channels are available on the television. It is even
more easier
than
before
, to choose the correct option.

In conclusion
, this is a topic which raises
many
questions in the contemporary life. After thorough analysis of the subject, I
am inclined
to say that the
positive
aspects of this development surpass the
negative
points. In the future, we could
expect
to witness a notable drift in this direction, which may bring significant
changes
in the viewpoint of the parents.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
Change your language and you change your thoughts.
Karl Albrecht

IELTS essay Some people believe that reading stories from a book is better than watching TV or playing computer games for children. v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
291 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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