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It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. Do you agree or disagree? What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behavior to children. v.18

It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behavior to children. v. 18
Do you think it is important to give kids punishments and teach them what is right and what is wrong at an incredibly young age? In my belief, I think it is necessary to teach them justice and injustice, punishment is also important too, but it need to be appropriate for its crime. In addition, every punishment should not refer to any physical assault or verbal abuse. Nowadays, children are getting more stubborn because of their adults, they do not want to scold their own kids, as the result that makes the kids’ behaviour getting worse, and when these young-age go to school they cannot adapt to their school’s society, this situation can lead these children to depression. Therefore, these circumstances make some children suppress their angriness and sadness, or they make some kids outburst their madness, and none of these things are good to the children and others. For instance, if these kids are getting bullied, they can either suicide or hurt others back. Furthermore, punishments also extremely significant, in the view of the fact that every criminal was kid before, so how can they become a criminal? This is because when they were children, no one punished them, some of them were bullying others, but they did not get punished because some of them are rich or their parents are powerful, and these make things worse. Moreover, it is correct that punishment is especially important. However, punishment cannot be harmful for children either in mental or physical, but they are many people who use punishment in a wrong way, sometimes adults do punishment because they do not like their own child, or sometimes they do it to wreak their own wants, but that is so wrong, every punishment need to be suitable with their crimes, or else these children will grow up with depression. For instance, if they hit another kid, adults should tell them to say sorry, or tell them that if they do not do their homework or housework, they cannot go outside and play for the punishment. In summary, teaching what is right, what is wrong and doing punishment to early age is important, but they need to do in the right way. In my opinion adults need to be confident enough to teach their own kids, or else everything will go wrong.
Do you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
to give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishments
and teach them what is right and what is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wrong
at an
incredibly
young age? In my belief, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is necessary to teach them justice and injustice,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
is
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
too,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
Did you mean "needs"?
need
to be appropriate for its crime.
In addition
, every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
should not refer to any physical assault or verbal abuse.

Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are getting more stubborn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
, they do not want to scold their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
, as the result that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids’
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
getting worse, and when these young-age go to school they cannot adapt to their school’s society, this situation can lead these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to depression.
Therefore
, these circumstances
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
suppress their
Possible spelling mistake found.
angriness
and sadness, or they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
outburst their madness, and none of these things are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
.
For instance
, if these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
are getting bullied, they can either suicide or hurt others back.

Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishments
also
extremely
significant, in the view of the fact that every criminal was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kid
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
how can they become a criminal? This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
when they were
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, no one punished them,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them were bullying others,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they did not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
punished
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them are rich or their parents are powerful, and these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
things worse.

Moreover
, it is correct that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
is
especially
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
cannot be harmful for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
either in mental or physical,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wrong
way,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they do not like their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
child, or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
they do it to wreak their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
wants,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
that is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wrong
, every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to be suitable with their crimes, or else these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will grow up with depression.
For instance
, if they hit another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kid
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
them to say sorry, or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
them that if they do not do their homework or housework, they cannot go outside and play for the punishment.

In summary, teaching what is right, what is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wrong
and doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
to early age is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to do in the right way. In my opinion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to be confident
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to teach their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
, or else everything will go
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wrong
.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
46Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behavior to children. v. 18

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
388 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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