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Some people believe that reading stories from a book is better than watching TV or playing computer games for children. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.2

Some people believe that reading stories from a book is better than watching TV or playing computer games for children. v. 2
In the contemporary society, children have numerous ways to gain information and entertain such as books, tv or computer games. There is a school of thought that for children, it is better to read stories from books rather than watching tv or playing computer games. In my opinion, I totally agree with this view. For a variety of reasons, children will greatly benefit from reading books. Firstly, it helps improve children’s imagination. By this I mean that when we read a book, we can create characters, contexts or actions in our mind within words in books that authors use to describe. This exercise stimulates many functions of the brain the most. In addition, reading not only helps develop creativity but also enhance verbal abilities. This is because there are a wide range of complicated and useful vocabulary and sentences in books which children can memorize to enrich their speech. apart from the practical reasons expressed above, I believe that reading books also helps people discover their own unique version. A reason for this is that people have different ways to judge and interpret the issue due to their angle of view. For example, one person may find the jungle to be peaceful, while another may feel that there are many wild beasts. As a result, reading books give children an opportunity to have independent thoughts and grow up to become their sole and irreplaceable version. In conclusion, I firmly believe that reading stories from books give children more benefits than watching tv and playing games. In the future, it would be a way to evaluate the academic level of people.
In the contemporary society,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
have numerous ways to gain information and entertain such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
tv
or computer games. There is a school of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, it is better to read stories from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
rather
than watching
Possible spelling mistake found.
tv
or playing computer games. In my opinion, I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this view.

For a variety of reasons,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will
greatly
benefit from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
.
Firstly
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
imagination. By this I mean that when we read a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
, we can create characters, contexts or actions in our mind within words in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
that authors
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describe
. This exercise stimulates
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
functions of the brain the most.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
develop creativity
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
enhance verbal abilities. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there are a wide range of complicated and useful vocabulary and sentences in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can memorize to enrich their speech.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
apart
from the practical reasons expressed above, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
discover their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
unique version. A reason for this is that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
ways to judge and interpret the issue due to their angle of view.
For example
, one person may find the jungle to be peaceful, while another may feel that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
wild beasts.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
an opportunity to have independent thoughts and grow up to become their sole and irreplaceable version.

In conclusion
, I
firmly
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
stories from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
more benefits than watching
Possible spelling mistake found.
tv
and playing games. In the future, it would be a way to evaluate the academic level of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
21Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
One who speaks only one language is one person, but one who speaks two languages is two people.
Turkish proverb

IELTS essay Some people believe that reading stories from a book is better than watching TV or playing computer games for children. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
270 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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