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Some people believe that purpose of education is to prepare people to be useful members for society. other say that the purpose of education is to achieve personal ambitions. discuss both views and give your own opinion v.1

Some people believe that purpose of education is to prepare people to be useful members for society. other say that the purpose of education is to achieve personal ambitions. 1
Education plays an important role in the overall development of any country across the globe. Some individuals think that learning makes the people beneficial for the society while others felt that people are gaining education only for fulfilling their personal desires. In the following paragraphs, I intend to delve on both the views and provide my opinion. To begin with, study plays a vital role in the development of one's personality, it's not only educate the person in understanding books, but also to implement the teachings learnt from the books in the social life. Awareness of a particular program about a particular disease should not be the responsiblity of the government only, instead people should join hands with the government and spread this across the country. Furthermore, through educating people learnt moral values like helping a person in need, join municipality workers in cleaning our national resources for e. g river On the other hand, there are folks which are more self centric and selfish. Their primary goal of doing education is to accomplish their personal wishes. They always put themselves first instead of their land and shows very little interest towards territory growth. After attaining trainings from their own region, they migrate to some other country for the sake of money and career opportunities rather than utilizing that knowledge for their own country. To conclude, the future of the country depends on its people, to make it brighter everyone should take a step towards education and use the knowledge for the betterment of the society rather than focussing on their own personal goals which are detrimental for the nation.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Education
plays an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in the
overall
development of any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
across the globe.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
individuals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that learning
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
beneficial for the society while others felt that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are gaining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for fulfilling their personal desires. In the following paragraphs, I intend to delve on both the views and provide my opinion.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, study plays a vital role in the development of one's personality, it's not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
educate the person in understanding books,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
to implement the teachings
Possible spelling mistake. 'learnt' is British English.
learnt
from the books in the social life. Awareness of a particular program about a particular disease should not be the
Possible spelling mistake found.
responsiblity
of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
,
instead
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
hands with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and spread this across the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
Furthermore
, through educating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
Possible spelling mistake. 'learnt' is British English.
learnt
moral values like helping a person in need,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
municipality workers in cleaning our national resources for e. g river

On the other hand
, there are folks which are more self centric and selfish. Their primary goal of doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is to accomplish their personal wishes. They always put themselves
first
instead
of their land and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
interest towards territory growth. After attaining trainings from their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
region, they migrate to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
for the sake of money and career opportunities
rather
than utilizing that knowledge for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
country.

To conclude
, the future of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
depends on its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it brighter everyone should take a step towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the knowledge for the betterment of the society
rather
than focussing on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
personal goals which are detrimental for the nation.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that purpose of education is to prepare people to be useful members for society. other say that the purpose of education is to achieve personal ambitions. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
270 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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