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Some people say that the purpose of education is to prepare individuals to be useful to society. Others say its purpose is to prepare individuals to achieve personal ambitions. v.1

Some people say that the purpose of education is to prepare individuals to be useful to society. Others say its purpose is to prepare individuals to achieve personal ambitions. v. 1
The nature of education is to humanise human, stated by Paolo Pereira. Some people believe that humanising human means that every person should be beneficial for society on how societies get the advantages from their knowledge and skills. However, others believe that they attend the education institutions for having skills and experience as the tools to enter job market easily. This essay aims to discuss both purposes as well as provide several reasons. People tend to focus on developing their social awareness through education in order to bring the society become a better community. They believe that the ultimate aim of education is that to contribute as well as to implement the knowledge and skills for the prosperity of society. For example, those who are expertise in agriculture science probably educate the farmers how to have a good quality of plants, how to manage the irrigation system well and how to conduct the product sales in the market. Moreover, graduates are believed as the social agents who bridge the society and government in terms of making society based policy. If there is a controversial policy that harms people, educated persons are probably asked by those people to help them conducting negotiation even against the policy. On the other hand, some believe that the ultimate aim of having an education is that people tend to get certain skills and experience as the main tools to achieve a good position in the job market. The company might require well-educated workers and put them in a strategic position which brings them to such more prosperous economic life condition. It is undeniable to stop people making education as the way to gain personal purpose because it is their personal rights. In addition, government guarantees every single person to have education for whatever the purpose as long as it is still on the education rules. I believe that both purposes of people in entering education institution discussed above might be in line together. We can be valuable persons for the society while having a job which we allocate some money from our salaries to educate people by providing the fund for those children who need it for school fee. The higher salary we achieve, the more money we can donor. In short, everyone has their own targets to entering schools, universities or colleges. The most important thing is how to save ourselves by having a permanent job while contributing ours kills for the prosperity of society.
The nature of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is to
Possible spelling mistake. 'humanise' is British English.
humanise
human, stated by Paolo Pereira.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that
Possible spelling mistake. 'humanising' is British English.
humanising
human means that every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
should be beneficial for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
on how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
societies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the advantages from their knowledge and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
.
However
, others
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that they attend the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
institutions for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
and experience as the tools to enter
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
market
easily
. This essay aims to discuss both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
purposes
Probable usage error. Use "and" after 'both'.
as well as
provide several reasons.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
tend to focus on developing their social awareness through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
in order to bring the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
become a better community. They
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that the ultimate aim of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is that to contribute
as well
as to implement the knowledge and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
for the prosperity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
For example
, those who are expertise in agriculture science
probably
educate the farmers how to have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
quality of plants, how to manage the irrigation system well and how to conduct the product sales in the market.
Moreover
, graduates
are believed
as the social agents who bridge the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
in terms of making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
based policy. If there is a controversial policy that harms
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, educated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
persons
are
probably
asked by those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them
The verb 'those' is used with an infinitive: "to conduct" or "conduct".
conducting
negotiation even against the policy.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that the ultimate aim of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
and experience as the main tools to achieve a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
position in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
market. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
might require well-educated workers and put them in a strategic position which brings them to such more prosperous economic life condition. It is undeniable to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
as the way to gain personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
purpose
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is their personal rights.
In addition
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
guarantees every single
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
to have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
for whatever the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
purpose
as long as it is
still
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
.

I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
purposes
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in entering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
institution discussed above might be in line together. We can be valuable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
persons
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
which we allocate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
money from our salaries to educate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
by providing the fund for those children who need it for school fee. The higher salary we achieve, the more money we
The word 'donor' is a noun or an adjective. A verb or adverb is missing or misspelled here, or maybe a comma is missing.
can donor
.

In short, everyone has their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
targets to entering schools, universities or colleges. The most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
thing is how to save ourselves by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
a permanent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
while contributing ours kills for the prosperity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
49Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say that the purpose of education is to prepare individuals to be useful to society. Others say its purpose is to prepare individuals to achieve personal ambitions. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
411 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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