Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people believe that people have the right to university education, and government should make it free no matter what their financial background. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.2

Some people believe that people have the right to university education, and government should make it free no matter what their financial background. v. 2
Over recent years, more and more residents have attended university and argument have persisted as to whether students should pay for this privilege or not. While there is convincing debate on both sides, I strongly believe that this tuition fee should be free. One argument put forward charging students is that education is becoming more costly as universities in major cities grow in size. Therefor, making students pay may maintain the standard as well as ensure quality of teaching of lecturers and teaching staff. Secondly, it is argued that most students should benefit significantly from universities in terms of higher paid jobs and lucrative income after graduating. Thus, it is quite fair for students to pay some of the cost, especially for the majority of students from the middle classes. Last but not least, in many countries, there is a shortage of people to do manual jobs such as plumbing or carpentry; hence, making universities more expensive may encourage disadvantaged people to take up these jobs, and in the long run there will be a productive workforce with hands-on skills. However, there are a number of controversies in favour of making universities free for all. The first prominent justification is that, more citizens will be encouraged to become university students, which benefits the society greatly. This can be easily understood due to the facts that knowledge will lead to a more productive and educated workforce. For instant, research has shown that the country with better education via universities can achieve higher levels of innovation and productivity. Furthermore, there is the issue of equality of opportunity for everyone. If the students are required to pay, those with low income may be dissuaded from attending in view of the facts they will not be able to secure financial support from their family and more importantly they will be concerned about the debts incurred in the future. In conclusion, while reasons can be given to justify that students should pay the school fee, I am of the opinion that all university education should remain equally available to all individuals regardless of their financial status.
Over recent years, more and more residents have attended
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
and argument have persisted
Consider shortening this phrase to just "whether", or rephrase the sentence to avoid "as to".
as to whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
for this privilege or not. While there is convincing debate on both sides, I
strongly
believe that this tuition fee should be free.

One argument put forward charging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
is that education is becoming more costly as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
in major cities grow in size. Therefor, making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
may maintain the standard
as well
as ensure quality of teaching of lecturers and teaching staff.
Secondly
, it
is argued
that most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should benefit
significantly
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
in terms of higher paid jobs and lucrative income after graduating.
Thus
, it is quite
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
cost,
especially
for the majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
from the middle classes. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries, there is a shortage of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to do manual jobs such as plumbing or carpentry;
hence
, making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
more expensive may encourage disadvantaged
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to take up these jobs, and in the long run there will be a productive workforce with hands-on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.

However
, there are a number of controversies in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
free for all. The
first
prominent justification is that, more citizens will
be encouraged
to become
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, which benefits the society
greatly
. This can be
easily
understood due to the facts that knowledge will lead to a more productive and educated workforce. For instant, research has shown that the country with better education via
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
can achieve higher levels of innovation and productivity.
Furthermore
, there is the issue of equality of opportunity for everyone. If the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are required
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
, those with low income may
be dissuaded
from attending in view of the facts they will not be able to secure financial support from their family and more
importantly
they will
be concerned
about the debts incurred in the future.

In conclusion
, while reasons can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to justify that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
the school fee, I am of the opinion that all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
education should remain
equally
available to all individuals regardless of their financial status.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that people have the right to university education, and government should make it free no matter what their financial background. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
351 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts