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Some people believe that people have the right to university education, and government should make it free no matter what their financial background. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.3

Some people believe that people have the right to university education, and government should make it free no matter what their financial background. v. 3
In recent decades, university education has gained in popularity many countries. Although some people suggest that governments should make it free, regardless of personal backgrounds, I totally disagree with this suggestion. There are a number of reasons why free university education can detrimental affect nations' economy. First, If government had to pay money for all students who want to continue their higher education, these countries would suffer the shortage of the national budget. Instead, this money can be invested in their economy, such as building more infrastructure like roads and electricity, thereby make the nation wealthier. Second, there is a lack of manual labour workers in many countries, especially in developed ones. By discouraging people from studying in college and encouraging them to participate in practical courses, there would be less unemployed workers, contributing to the growing of the economy. One of the compelling reasons to not make college education free is that the academic path is not the only way for individuals to be successful in the future. In fact, employers nowadays place more emphasis on solid experience than knowledge in the university. For instance, large international companies, especially in manufacturing and construction industries, offer higher salaries for labourers who have the understandings and hands on experience in their field than those who graduated from educational institutes. In addition, it is true that many graduates cannot make a living, or even do not have a job. Therefore, allowing all students to study in college without any payment will not help them find a job in the future. In conclusion, government should not provide university scholarships for all people. Everyone should manage to follow their study by themselves.
In recent decades,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
has gained in popularity
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
suggest that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
it free, regardless of personal backgrounds, I
totally
disagree with this suggestion.

There are a number of reasons why free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
can detrimental affect nations' economy.
First
, If
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
had to pay money for all students who want to continue their higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
, these countries would suffer the shortage of the national budget.
Instead
, this money can
be invested
in their economy, such as building more infrastructure like roads and electricity, thereby
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
the nation wealthier. Second, there is a lack of manual
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
workers in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries,
especially
in developed ones. By discouraging
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from studying in college and encouraging them to participate in practical courses, there would be less unemployed workers, contributing to the growing of the economy.

One of the compelling reasons to not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
college
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
free is that the academic path is not the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
way for individuals to be successful in the future. In fact, employers nowadays place more emphasis on solid experience than knowledge in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
.
For instance
, large international
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
,
especially
in manufacturing and construction industries, offer higher salaries for
Possible spelling mistake found.
labourers
who have the understandings and hands on experience in their field than those who graduated from educational institutes.
In addition
, it is true that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
graduates cannot
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
a living, or even do not have a job.
Therefore
, allowing all students to study in college without any payment will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them find a job in the future.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should not provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
scholarships for all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. Everyone should manage to follow their study by themselves.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that people have the right to university education, and government should make it free no matter what their financial background. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
278 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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