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Essay topics: Some people think that zoos are cruel and all the zoos should be closed. However, other people think that zoos are useful to protect the rare animals. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.1

Essay topics: Some people think that zoos are cruel and all the zoos should be closed. However, other people think that zoos are useful to protect the rare animals. v. 1
The zoo is always attractive to the children, and families. And many people often visit such places on different occasions, but some people are not in favour of zoos and it should be dismissed, but comparatively other things that’ it’s very positive and helpful for some rare forest animal breeds. In this essay we will argue about both points of view, and to what extent we are agreeing or disagreeing and will share our opinion. Hence, zoos are very popular in public places, where we can visit on different occasions and sometimes in our off days with our loved ones. Although it’s quite interesting and attractive place for the children, which cannot be avoided. Meanwhile, if we talk about the animal protection, somehow it’s unfair to them, because they are not born to lock in somewhere. But in other words, it’s very positive and helpful in other cases, such as collecting the rare breeds from the forests or those living creatures, whose life is on threat from the other creatures and hunters. Well, in the zoos, most of them are certified zoo caretakers and handling everything, systematically in a professional way. Furthermore, both groups have their own point of view, but being emotional isn’t always good. Especially, in zoos they have a complete first aid facilities for the sick animals and professional veterinarians. Particularly, for some special creatures, they always care about to provide them a natural environment for their health and long life. For example, white cheetah is exceptional breed, so in the wildlife parks they could provide maximum near the natural environment for them. In my opinion, maintaining a zoo, is always positive and supporting act for wild animals and could help breeding in the future. To conclude from this, the concept of building safari parks, isn’t particularly to have different creatures under the one roof. It’s also a significant for the science and biology groups for future experiments and for the country to have a unique creature.
The zoo is always attractive to the children, and families. And
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
visit such places on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
occasions,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are not in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of zoos and it should
be dismissed
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
comparatively
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
things that’ it’s
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and helpful for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
rare forest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
breeds. In this essay we will argue about both points of view, and to what extent we
The verb 'agreeing' is a stative verb and sometimes the progressive form is not correct. Try a simple form instead.
are agreeing
or disagreeing and will share our opinion.

Hence
, zoos are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
popular in public places, where we can visit on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
occasions and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
in our off days with our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
ones. Although it’s quite interesting and attractive place for the children, which cannot
be avoided
. Meanwhile, if we talk about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
protection, somehow it’s unfair to them,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are not born to lock in somewhere.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, it’s
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and helpful in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
cases, such as collecting the rare breeds from the forests or those living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
creatures
, whose life is on threat from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
creatures
and hunters. Well, in the zoos, most of them
are certified
zoo caretakers and handling everything,
systematically
Consider replacing "in a professional way" with the adverb for "professional"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a professional way
.

Furthermore
, both groups have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
point of view,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
being emotional isn’t always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
.
Especially
, in zoos they have a complete
first
aid facilities for the sick
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
and professional veterinarians.
Particularly
, for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
special
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
creatures
, they always care about to provide them a natural environment for their health and long life.
For example
, white cheetah is exceptional breed,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
in the wildlife parks they could provide maximum near the natural environment for them.

In my opinion, maintaining a zoo, is always
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and supporting act for wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
and could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
breeding in the future.
To conclude
from this, the concept of building safari parks, isn’t
particularly
to have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
creatures
under the one roof. It’s
also
a significant for the science and biology groups for future experiments and for the country to have a unique
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
creature
.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay Essay topics: Some people think that zoos are cruel and all the zoos should be closed. However, other people think that zoos are useful to protect the rare animals. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
330 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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